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Bay Trip

Zosia had not seen Victor since that night and she did not know how to continue to communicate with him:

Would it be best to pretend that nothing had happened? Should she try to dissuade him from participating in future gatherings with his comrades, who were “paving the way for the revolution”? And could it even be possible? After all, he so sincerely believed in the righteousness and justice of everything that they conceived!

But one cannot put one’s understanding into someone else’s head!

The exams were completed and very successfully passed by the friends. Denis invited them to go to celebrate this event on the shore of the Gulf of Finland. His brother Sergey, as promised, was ready to sail with them. Everyone agreed and set a date.

* * *

The weather was sunny and warm, and the wind was fair and not strong. Sergey was sitting at the helm and watched with approval as Denis steered the sail.

When they entered the bay, the wind became a little stronger. The boat glided easily and confidently along the small waves.

… It was an early morning. There was a feeling of freedom from being on the open sea that stretched on before their eyes! It was as if the wings of them, as souls, spread open, allowing everyone to soar as souls, like the white-winged gulls that accompanied the boat.

They passed some coastal settlements, on which there were wooden cottages.

Olga asked Sergey:

“Tell us about yourself! Denis has said told us almost nothing about you. Whereas, the rest of us already know almost everything about each other.”

“What can I say about me? My life is a life of service on the sea. Ever since childhood, I have dreamed about the sea, of sails, and I have wanted, like our great sailors, to travel around the Earth on a sailing vessel and see the whole world…

“But circumnavigation has not yet taken place in my life.

“In practice, we sailed for three months along the Baltic Sea. It was great!… And now, for the third year, I have been commanding a battleship.

“Service, maneuvers… My ship has become ‘close to my heart’. My ship, my crew — I feel as if we are all one family!… I live like that…

“And Denis told me a lot about all of you. So, it seems to me that I already know each of you well!”

… They moored at the mouth of a small stream flowing into the bay.

The sandy beach was small and was covered with stones on both sides. Walking over the stones was very inconvenient, but the huge granite boulders towering above the water and the pine trees on the shore harmonized so beautifully!

The pines were tall and strong, having withstood many severe storms from the sea.

The travelers arranged a camp: they laid flat stones and wide planks upon them, which had more than once been washed ashore by the waves, thereby creating some comfortable benches.

The wind almost completely died down, as if it, after doing its due, chose only slightly to rustle the leaves of small aspen trees and sway the branches of mighty pines.

Olga and Sergey went along the coast to collect dry firewood for the campfire. They went very far, talking among themselves.

When they returned, Olga shone with happiness! She ran to one of the tall pines standing separately on the shore, and wrapped her arms around it.

“Look: what a beauty! It was already growing here before any of us were even in this world! And perhaps, when we are not here, it will still be standing here and admiring the sea!”

… Olga hugged the trunk and pressed it gently against her cheek. Then she stood still for a long time, feeling how, high in the branches, a subtle gentle breeze was stroking the needles and cones.

Zosia came up, stood next to her, and stroked the golden trunk of the pine tree with her palms.

The three of them stood for a long time, hugging each other — the two girls and the pine…

Olga thoughtfully said:

“This is just like your hesychia! Trees — they know the deep inner silence! They keep it, and they can teach people a lot!…”

… Denis was a little worried, watching Olga, who could hardly take her eyes off Sergey. Denis tried to pretend that he did not care. But he did not succeed.

… They made a small campfire and brewed tea in a pot. They also snacked on some of the supplies that they had brought with them.

They decided that they would spend the night by the fire and return to the city the next day.

Victor was silent, casting an occasional furtive glance at Zosia, trying to understand how they should now be together. He thought that he definitely needed to talk with her…

He suggested:

“Zosia, let’s go for a walk, and, at the same time, we can gather some firewood: we will need to keep a fire burning all night.”

“Yes, let’s go…”

… For a while they walked in silence.

Then, Victor said:

“My father has long wanted us to get married, he dreams about this.

“You know that I love you… Until now, I have been silent about this — only because I worry about involving you in all the prospects that come with being a wife of a revolutionary. If they arrest me, they might not let you become a doctor.

“I really want you to be happy, I do want to hurt you in any way… But it turns out that being near me is becoming dangerous… And yet, I really would like us to be together!

“But, just as you will never give up your God, I cannot give up my ideas, my dreams of goodness for all people. This is — a part of me!

“Will you agree to love me as I am and agree to be with me? Do you want to be my wife?”

“Victor, you are saying everything correctly… Everything is complicated! I love you… But we are too different. And our lives seem to be flowing now in different directions. It’s not about the danger: I’m not afraid… But I cannot become your wife! In any case, now it’s impossible!…

“And one more thing: do you remember that I invited everyone to my parents’ home for the summer? Have you decided yet? Will you go?”

“Yes, I have decided. I cannot go.”

… Victor was gloomy. All the points in their relationship were now placed.

They returned to the fire with armfuls of dry branches.

… The sunset over the sea was surprisingly beautiful!

Everyone admired the play of colors in the evening sky for a long time.

They prepared a convenient place in the boat so that if anyone got tired and wanted to take a nap, then it would be possible to lie down. Blankets were brought to the fire for added warmth.

… With the sunset, it became cool.

And the campfire was cozy and calm.

The night seemed to dissolve all the daytime difficulties of life. There was only the campfire in the transparent twilight of the northern summer night. Sparks soared and then went out in the heights.

Olga thoughtfully said:

“So we, like these sparks, flash only for a second in the transparent calm of the eternity of the universe — and then fade away… And what will happen after the death of our bodies? Paradise? But no one really knows the truth! Here — we loved, burned with ideas, strove for something, tried to accomplish something in these lives. What will happen to us after all this?

“And what is really ‘on the other side’?”

… Victor said seriously:

“It’s best to ask Zosia about this; she tried to look there.

“Sometimes, she even at present can talk with her departed elder Zosima.”

… Sergey was surprised:

“What? Like spiritualistic sessions? Now it has become fashionable. They gather at a table and summon spirits.”

… Zosia answered:

“No. I have not heard much about spiritualistic sessions. I would not want to participate in such actions. After all, spirits can differ. There are also unclean ones…

“And if, for example, Jesus begins to speak with a person, then no one will call this a ‘spiritualistic session’.”

… Sergey was surprised:

“And what, do you think, Zosia, that a person can have a conversation with Jesus Himself?”

“Yes, I think that it’s possible, if one — with all one’s heart — wants it! The elder Zosima often spoke with Jesus. And fr. Alexander, his disciple, also saw Jesus and heard Him…”

“And you?”

“So far, this has not happened; at least not in a way in which I can be certain that I am actually seeing and hearing Him. But I firmly know that it is possible! I feel His Presence when I speak to Him about important things. I have not received immediate answers from Jesus, in a way in which His voice is both pronounced and heard. But after some time, an understanding comes: an answer is as if born within, pertaining precisely to the question…

“And I firmly know that there, on the other side of bodily death, there is a life! There, life continues! Souls are alive there without bodies! We can talk with them and see them.

“I don’t know much about it yet. The elder Zosima only recently has given me some very important advice and words of wisdom, on a few occasions.

“In those moments, I saw the appearance of Zosima — formed from the Light. He explained to me a little about healing. And he also answered some questions about a few other topics.”

… Sergey listened to Zosia carefully and seriously, without scepticism.

Victor expressed his opinion:

“Zosia does not invent all this. For example, I myself saw how she cured a dying girl: she, herself, even lost consciousness, and the child was miraculously healed! I’m talking about that girl for whose mother we arranged a living situation in your, Olga, children’s shelter. Of course, Zosia will now say that it was God Who healed the girl… But I do not believe in Heavenly Forces or all that church nonsense about a ‘good god’! But I can say that Zosia can interact with the worlds that are intangible and invisible. I have seen this more than once! This is a reality!

“And spiritualistic sessions are fraudulent performances for the public!”

… Olga continued the topic of conversation:

“Maybe they are not always just performances… Once, my friends lured me to such a session. There were candles, special music, and the table was shaking. The female medium fell into a trance and became just like a crazy person. She broadcasted some words from some kind of spirits. She predicted the fates of all those present. Also, she predicted a war in the Far East in the near future. There was an unpleasant feeling during all this, but something was really happening. I would not want to go there again.”

… Sergey said a little sadly:

“In order to predict the war, you do not need to be a broadcaster from the other world. It is clear that everything is moving towards this… Sadly!… Stupidly!…”

… Victor was inspired:

“Yes, it is very bad that, due to the decisions of individual rulers, entire countries, many nations start bloody wars. Many people go to kill and die — for the sake of the possibility of their rulers to influence the lives of other countries and their peoples!

“And ordinary people do not need all these wars at all! They want to work in factories or plow the land, and live with their families. But they are sent for murder and death!

“And all this madness is called ‘patriotism’! And then, they say such things as ‘Long live Russia!’, or ‘For the Tsar and for the Fatherland!’…

“It should not be like this! This must be changed in the management of all states!

“We need a world revolution, democracy, and a reasonable government!”

… Denis said:

“Sergey, I told you that Victor is a passionate fan of revolutionary ideas…”

“But are there fair wars too? And what? Will the army or navy in your new state not be needed?” — Sergey asked.

“Justice is a very relative concept… But the army and navy, of course, will be needed in the beginning, until democracy is established in all countries. And then, there will no longer be need for them!”

… For a long time, the conversations passed from topic to topic. Sergey told stories from his maritime life…

Sometimes, everyone fell silent for a long time and admired the fire.

Olga admired and was fascinated with Sergey. She had fallen in love with him, but tried not to give free rein to her emotions or to show all this outwardly, seeing the state of the younger brother.

… In the east, the sky began to turn a bright pink color.

In the bushes or on the tops of trees, the songs of blackbirds, robins, and nightingales were heard more loudly and became more fervent… More and more new birds joined in the polyphonic bird choir.

The sun began to rise slowly. A new day had come.

* * *

Olga went to the water to wash herself and slipped on a wet stone. She fell, twisting her leg strongly, and cried out in pain.

Everyone rushed to her.

“Does it hurt badly? Where? The ankle?” — Denis asked in alarm.

Olga nodded silently.

Zosia, having passed her palms several times over Olga’s leg, confidently said:

“There is no fracture, only the ligaments have torn a bit. Nothing terrible!”

… She unlaced and carefully removed Olga’s elegant boot, trying not to hurt her. She asked Victor:

“Please, bring my bag from the boat!”

… Denis, in excitement, asked again:

“How do you know, Zosia, that there is no fracture? You might be mistaken… We should get some ice so that the leg doesn’t swell so much. A bandage needs to be applied!”

… Victor, meanwhile, had already brought Zosia’s bag and opened it:

“It’s your turn, Zosia, to be the chief doctor in the field!”

… Zosia confidently put on a tight bandage.

She said:

“Olga, be patient a little longer! Now, I will try to reduce the pain.”

… Everyone was surprised to see Zosia, who froze, and placed her palms over Olga’s sore foot.

After a while, Olga said in surprise:

“But I didn’t believe you that this could be done in reality!… The pain has completely passed!”

… Sergey, in deep appreciation, kissed Zosia’s hands, which could relieve pain in such an amazing way.

Olga began to apologize:

“Forgive me! I have caused such a fuss for all of you!

“It doesn’t hurt at all! I probably can even walk on it now.”

… Zosia did not agree:

“No, Olga, there’s no reason to try to stand on it right now! It needs rest. And here, we have so many strong men! They will help you!”

… Sergey picked Olga up in his arms and carried her to the boat. She gently wrapped her arms around his neck.

Denis walked nearby, carrying her boot in his hands.

Zosia and Victor quickly collected all their belongings that were laid out around the fire and loaded them into the boat.

They returned back against the tide, using the oars.

They docked at a pier on the Fontanka river, near Olga’s house.

Victor stayed with the boat.

Sergey carried Olga. Denis and Zosia discussed whether to go to the hospital right now. They decided that it would be better to call Victor’s father and take Olga to the Academy clinic a little later, so as not to make a fuss now, but, nevertheless, to be sure that there was no fracture. There was even an experimental x-ray machine at the medical Academy, which would make it possible to take a photo.

… Sergey carefully laid Olga on the bed.

Zosia helped to arrange a comfort for the sore foot.

Denis said that he would get Victor’s father to agree and would soon pick up Olga, hiring a cab:

“I’ll be back soon!”

… Olga looked at his face, which had turned pale from the excitement.

“Denis, no clinics are needed, everything has almost passed!”

… Then she looked at Sergey:

“Sergey, stay with me, please! If you want, of course…”

… These words sounded like a direct and open declaration of love. And, through those words, everything immediately became clear to the older and younger brothers.

Sergey met his brother’s eyes. It was a silent dialogue in which there was everything: a request for forgiveness, a willingness to give up one’s own feelings for the sake of the other and for the girl with whom both of them had already fallen in love.

Sergey stayed.

Zosia asked:

“Do you need something else to help?”

… Olga shook her head:

“Thanks, but no.”

… Denis, still visibly pale, said:

“Olga, you still need to visit the clinic. Sergey will take you. I’ll call you when I get Victor’s father to agree.”