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Exam

The capital met Zosia with a cool drizzle. Soon, however, the rain ended. The clouds in the sky and the damp gray streets contrasted with the expanses of forests and fields, in which spring had long since passed, giving way to a gentle summer.

Zosia took out a piece of paper upon which was written an address that was given to her by one of the young doctors from the hospital who had recently studied there. He said that it would be possible to cheaply rent a good room at that place.

A cabman brought her to a multistory apartment building.

Having walked up to the fifth floor, Zosia called out for a nice woman who came out to meet her. She laughed, recalling her former guest student, and said that there were no free rooms now. However, she recommended one of her acquaintances, who lived nearby and also rented furnished rooms.

Zosia had few things: only a small suitcase. So, she went on foot.

The mistress, a woman in her forties, met her sternly and unfriendly:

“Yes, there is a room, but no partying is allowed! And money must be paid two weeks in advance!”

“You will not need to worry about that, ma’am: I have come here to study! I will enter the institute!”

“I’ve known many people like you! You come here to learn and go to the institute!... But then you drink booze with the guys, trying to get married! And then you get pregnant and your belly begins to grow. And you run out money… And you begin trying to not pay your rent by trying to make me feel sorry for you! But I will not tolerate any of such things! I will kick you out! I don’t wish to see any gentlemen here! Order must be maintained!”

“Good,” — said Zosia, trying to understand why she had already managed to cause this woman to dislike her so much.

She examined the room and, despite the unfriendly hostess, agreed to rent for the first time. She did not want to have to search for housing in an unfamiliar city for a long time. The room was clean, bright, and had only a few furnishings: a table, a wardrobe, and a bed… What more could a person want?

The entrance exams were to be started the day after tomorrow. The institute was nearby, and she could easily and comfortably walk there on foot.

When Zosia paid for the room, the hostess noticeably became kinder…

* * *

This year, the enrollment of new students at the Women’s Medical Institute was announced unusually early, right after the preparatory school exams. Because last year many more applicants enrolled than were accepted, the entrance tests were introduced. Those who could not pass them and who were therefore not accepted, had the opportunity to try to enter other educational institutions afterwards.

… In the spacious beautiful hall of the newly constructed Institute building, there were a lot of girls. When Zosia’s turn came, she entered the office and handed in her papers.

The worker, who was accepting the applications, looked at Zosia’s documents.

“This is not enough. Take the trouble to bring a certificate from your preparatory school and, once you have that, it is then very desirable to also get a certificate from courses as a physicians’ assistant.

“But in our town, there is no full preparatory school, only four classes. I specifically went to another location to take the needed exams. Here is the paper…”

“Dear, it isn't enough! In such a case, you will have to take the Latin exam here. Based on the results of the exam and of the interview, a decision will be made. Come back tomorrow at 10 o’clock.”

... The next day, there were already fewer applicants remaining.

* * *

The events of the exam happened as follows:

At the beginning, a strict looking gray-haired professor, who was running the exam, dissatisfying said:

“You, ma’am, are only 19 years old, and we are accepting only those who are 20 and older.”

“I will soon meet that requirement! In the fall, I will turn 20!”

“And this — what kind of piece of paper is this?”

“These are my grades for the preparatory school course. In our town, the preparatory school is incomplete, so I had to take the classes externally. They said that this paper would work…”

“They said… It doesn’t matter what they said …

How then were you able to also study Latin externally?”

“You can ask me any questions related to Latin literature or to anatomy! I know everything!”

“Is that so? Well then, maybe you don’t need to study from us, because you already know everything?”

“Please quiz me! I really need to become a doctor! A real doctor!”

The professor looked at Zosia with surprise: this provincial girl with a clear and open gaze as if did not notice his sarcasm and discontent.

He raised his glasses, carefully examining Zosia. Then he lowered his glasses back and took out an anatomical atlas from the table of the department:

“And will you be able to name all the organs in this atlas in Latin, with explanations?”

... Zosia answered confidently and without hesitation. The professor started getting rather heated, complicating the questions with each next page of the atlas, as if he was examining a student who had been studying for a long time. His surprise grew rapidly.

“How can this be? Without courses, how can you already know everything?”

“I helped my father in the hospital, and I remember a lot from my childhood. I was pretty much already practicing there as a paramedic; the only thing that I was lacking was a piece of paper officializing this…”

“So, your father taught you Latin too? Is he a doctor?”

“Yes, a surgeon.”

“And what is your father’s name?”

“Fyodor Berezin.”

The professor raised his head and looked carefully at Zosia:

“I had a student in Moscow twenty-five years ago, his name was Fyodor Berezin. He defended his dissertation to me. It should be noted that that young man was a very talented and promising student! I had very, very high expectations for him! Then he began to practice independently in Moscow. A story happened in a clinic there: a person died during an operation. It seemed that everything was clean, the commission decided so, but then he disappeared.

“So, it turns out that you are his daughter?”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t he send me a letter? How is he? Is he still working?”

“He managed a free hospital in our town, treating and operating on people there… He died a year ago. Therefore, I am here. I didn’t know that my father was your student!”

“Yes… The ways of the Lord are truly mysterious! Do not worry, be sure that you are accepted!”

* * *

Zosia left the office, smiling joyfully.

She heard two girls mockingly discussing her unfashionable dress.

“How many provincial girls have come! They should be ashamed to come to exams dressed like that!”

... Zosia looked in surprise at her dress. It was clean and tidy. Zosia’s mother had sewn it. And Zosia cherished it and put it on only on special occasions.

Zosia stepped aside and stood at the window. She decided to wait until the end of the exams to see the list of all those who were accepted.

The mockers continued to discuss her appearance and manner in a particularly loud way so that she could hear.

These girls were heard by several young men who were wearing medical academy uniforms. They assisted professors with the examinations.

The girls obviously wanted to attract their attention, but the opposite happened.

The young men approached Zosia:

“Well, what’s worse: Latin, professors, or future classmates?” — a very handsome and tall dark-haired student asked.

“But Latin is not scary at all!” — she replied.

... Then the young man switched to Latin, intending to continue the trials and embarrass the girl. But Zosia calmly answered him in Latin too.

The student, to his surprise, realized that this “simpleton” was completely fluent in this language.

“Are you really not afraid of Latin? Who taught you this?”

“My confessor, fr. Alexander.”

“Are you not mistaken? This is not a seminary! Here you have to study skeletons and dissect corpses!”

“I am not mistaken: I worked in the hospital for a long time!” — Zosia said, laughing easily and joyfully.

“I’m Victor,” — the student said, introducing himself with a small and comical theater-like bow.

They extended their hands for shaking, saying:

“I’m Semyon.”

“And I’m Denis.”

“I’m Sophia. But all the people close to me call me Zosia.” — Zosia said, introducing herself in a non-embarrassed and non-flirtatious way.

... Later, the admission lists were posted. After examining the list, upon which the name Sophia Berezina was listed at the top with the highest examination score, Zosia, feeling happy, left the institute.

Suddenly, Victor caught up to her:

“If you wait about fifteen minutes while we take care of the audience after the exams, I will show you the city. Will you wait? This, of course, is not right for the girl to wait, but, perhaps, another time I will wait for you!”

... Zosia agreed.

* * *

They walked holding hands like old friends.

Victor asked about everything, and sometimes tried to slightly make fun of Zosia, but affectionately, not offensively.

“So, why are you called Zosia and not Sophy?”

“It happened… It happened because of the elder Zosima.”

“So, it turns out, your nickname Zosia happened because of this elder?”

“Yes. It is as if I was born under his protection. And in our family, everyone always remembered this… Do you understand? This elder — he really could work miracles! And it happened often. And I witnessed this many times.”

“It’s as if you’re from the previous century! Elder Zosima, fr. Alexander!… You want to become a doctor, but you yourself are like a child! You believe in God...

“In our preparatory school, for example, none of us could stand going to the ‘Scripture lessons’!”

“I did not study God’s Law in a preparatory school, but in life, that is, really from God.

“Sometimes I feel God like how I feel you now, I can take Him by the Hand, and feel His touches… And then, He Himself takes my hand and leads me, telling me how to live and how to act. It’s doesn’t always happen to me, but when it does, then everything around me becomes special and beautiful, like now!”

... Zosia touched Victor’s hand with her hand and gently squeezed his fingers.

He silently looked in surprise at the tender face of this girl, at her light ash-brown braided hair, at her modest dress… And he could not understand why such strength and confidence came from her hands, from her fragile slim figure, and from her very unexpected words. Naive, pure… and so beautiful!… Victor wanted to protect her from this unjust and cruel world…

And Zosia did not feel at all that she needed protection. She calmly continued:

“Why do you think that doctors should not believe in God? After all, there are some things that do not depend on human will at all, but which, nevertheless, happen to people. And in medicine, this is so clearly visible!”

“You really are strange, Zosia! But also — wonderful!

“I can be with you more easily and more naturally than I have even been with anyone else! We only met today — and it’s as if I have known you for many years, as if we were friends since childhood! And anything that I think of, I can say! Even those things that you completely disagree with! And everything is so simple! And such joy is around!”

... It was beautiful and quiet everywhere during that white night of summer…

... They walked along the embankments for a long time and met the early dawn. Zosia liked the city that Victor showed her. It was not as strict and gray as it had first seemed.

The Neva River calmly carried its waters along the granite shores. The sun was about to rise, and the blue-green-orange sky was reflected in the fluid, shining surface of the river, which looked like iridescent silk, hiding its power and strength from view.

The expanse above the river was beautiful, it was fascinating!

And everywhere — there was God! Zosia now felt this very vividly. She firmly knew that everything happens on time, everything moves as it should! And even such a self-confident like Victor, a 3rd year student, was right here, next to her! And he so easily offered his friendship! And on the exam, everything worked out! I was accepted!

... When they said goodbye, Zosia pronounced:

“I would invite you to drink some herbal tea, but you can’t come to me. The landlady said that she would drive me out of the room and wouldn’t return the money, if I started bringing guys…”

“It won’t work for me either…” — Victor hesitated and paused. — I have been in a quarrel with my father for a long time. I now live in a hostel. Girls are not allowed there either. My father, by the way, is a doctor, a professor… We have a ‘family passion’ for medicine. It is probably ‘hereditary’!… The confrontation between us happened a long time ago, because of my mother. She died. And he is now married to another woman. We don’t communicate… I see him only at lectures.”

“You need to make peace, I’m sure of this!”

“Yes? But how? He is proud! And I am even more stubborn! It seems like the initial resentment is gone, but we now live our lives apart…

“Are you going to teach me Christian humility?”

“I will not teach you anything, but I can help you to make peace with him! If you want, of course…”

“I will not ask him for forgiveness. So, know that!”

“Well then, do not ask… He, nevertheless, will forgive you. Are you ready?”

“Well then… — shall we meet on Sunday? And you can demonstrate your spell then,” — Victor joked. — “On the Trinity bridge, at noon, in our place, Okay?”

“Agreed!”

* * *

In her room, before going to sleep, Zosia opened the notebook of the elder Zosima at random, as she occasionally did so that Zosima could “say something” through the lines that she read.

The words seemed to embrace her with warmth and joy:

“Love and peace, and benevolence towards every being — gradually but surely lead a person to wisdom, to cognition of the Holy Spirit.

“And any hostility, defense — lead to a loss of the Holy Spirit’s Light in the spiritual heart.

“Love is the best defense against evil!

“But people do not at all understand this! They answer evil with evil, are annoyed, offended, take revenge, and blame others for all their own troubles! And they don’t know how to forgive!…

“It happens that because of trifles, people live apart, separate. And this happens in families! And in whole nations, it happens! And it happens even between countries, leading to disasters and wars!

“But how simple it is to live in emotions of kindness and peace for one another!

“Without God’s Will — even a hair from your head will not fall! So, if there is something that offends you or which you consider unjust, know then that this offense or injustice is in an admonishment from God for you! And when you understand this admonition — thank the Lord! Evil then will not only not enter the soul, but it will also bypass your life! For one who lives in God’s Love is always happy!”

Zosia froze in a special silence. The understanding came that reconciling Victor with his father was good, right, and necessary! And that it certainly must happen!

Then she picked up the still unfinished notebook of fr. Alexander and began reading.

Zosia got the feeling that God was talking to her through these lines:

“Once, I asked the elder Zosima about how to share with people the love that inflames the spiritual heart like a sun. I also asked: why do not many people feel it, even if they are nearby? And if they do feel it, why do they feel only so little of it?”

“And the elder answered me:

‘Share It generously! It is unthinkable to keep this Light within yourself! For It comes from the inexhaustible River of Love!

‘Share It! And don’t worry about who will accept It and who will not accept It!

‘Shine! And the rest is not only your concern! God has His plans!

‘The sun shines onto all the flowers in a meadow! Some of them open up immediately. And others need to ripen as buds for some more time. Each flower has its own appointed time: to bloom and disperse its seeds! And, even more so, the souls of men have their own terms for both growth and understanding! Let God’s Light flow freely, and then everything according to His Will will come true!’”

Zosia was overwhelmed with happiness from the very clearly felt Presence of God, Who not only did not leave her upon arrival in the capital, but became brighter, and more and more distinct!

She fell asleep, continuing to whisper words of Gratitude to God for such amazing Care of His!