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When one who always knew
the Will of God leaves this world —
what remains after?

Who inherits his Wisdom and Love?

Who takes upon himself the work of
serving God and people?

Are there any heirs?

From the journal of fr. Alexander

Departure to the Capital

The ringing of the bell informed the believers that the service had begun. Reverberations of beautiful sounds poured over the river and over a small district town and dissolved somewhere in the distant sky… But the ringing did not subside…

Even when the sound of the bell melted away in the silence, the good news that there is God, that He is here now, and that His Love calls upon every person on the Earth to love — continued and continues to sound!

Only not everyone hears…

Zosia stood on a high hill above the river and listened to the song of the bell. She habitually plunged into the silence: into that cordial silence and warmth that connect the human world and the Peace of God.

The elder Zosima had managed to teach her a lot…

She recently decided to go to the capital to apply to an institute there in order to learn to become a doctor of medicine. Recently in St. Petersburg, the Women’s Medical Institute was opened and this gave an opportunity for women to get a doctor of medicine diploma.

This decision was not easy for her. A year ago, her father* died. He was Dr. Fyodor, as all the inhabitants of the town, without exception, called him. And there was no one who had not heard about him, the amazing doctor who for many years ran a free hospital.

Her mother, Nadezhda, had difficulty, agreeing with her daughter’s decision, but, in the end, she decided to release her beloved Zosia, though Nadezhda couldn’t imagine how she could live without every day seeing her daughter’s face, shining with affection and joy. She agreed despite the fact that now all the difficulties in organizing the work of the hospital fell on her fragile shoulders.

* * *

Zosia went to the monastery, to fr. Alexander, to inform him of her decision and to say goodbye. Fr. Alexander, who was formerly called Nicholas in the world, was a disciple of the elder Zosima.

The service in the temple ended and the people began to disperse.

Zosia watched the faces of the people with interest.

Here — a man shines with joy, his eyes shine, his heart is full — that means the touch of the Lord to the soul has happened!

Here — some talkers go, preoccupied, first of all, about the subjects of food and clothes. It is evident that the empty thoughts, which have accumulated and overwhelmed their minds, were restrained only slightly during the service.

Here — officials in uniforms and prosperous townspeople in black frock coats walk, talking about politics.

Here — beggars near the temple count the pennies donated to them…

Many people greeted Zosia. She used to be a frequent guest in the cell of the elder Zosima, and later she often visited fr. Alexander as well. And many people communicated with her in the hospital where Zosia spent most of her time working.

“Health to you, Zosia! And may your mother also be healthy!” — greetings sounded. Zosia answered, trying to bestow warmth and attention to everyone. She had already become accustomed to such respectful treatment from her days of working in the hospital.

The temple was empty. Zosia stood alone for a long time asking God to bless her decision and also asking Him to support her mother. She was waiting to feel the answer of God with her heart, trying to determine: does He approve this?…

She then entered the small cell where the elder Zosima once lived and received visitors and where fr. Alexander now worked the same way, by the grace of God.

This disciple of the elder Zosima was not yet old: gray hair had just slightly silvered his temples, and gray hair was also visible in his neatly trimmed beard. He was taut, broad-shouldered, and his appearance was very surprising for visitors who came to him for advice and healing. His eyes and smile over the past years had become quite the same as elder Zosima’s: especially deep, transparent to the Light of God, and infinitely kind.

Fr. Alexander met Zosia with the words:

“Well, Zosia, have you decided to go to learn?”

“Yes, I have decided!”

“You made the right choice! Do not be afraid: you will succeed!”

“Yes, I’m only slightly afraid for my mother: it’s hard for her without my father, and there’s a lot to do in the hospital…”

“Such tasks will help her not to grieve over the sorrows of the earth! Let her come to me more often, I will be glad to help!”

… Zosia and fr. Alexander talked about many things. Ever since childhood, he was her friend and spiritual mentor.

“I don’t know how I will cope without your advice…”

“With God’s help!” — fr. Alexander answered.

Then, smiling mysteriously, he handed Zosia two notebooks. One of them was thin with a heavily worn cover. Zosia knew that these were the journal entries of the elder Zosima. And she saw a second, very solid little notebook for the first time.

“This is my journal entries, Zosia. Everything that I remembered about Zosima, I wrote here. Some thoughts about the Path to the Lord were also recorded. I would like you to hold on to them. And I will start a new notebook.”

“Or maybe we should publish all this as a book? During my space time, I will sit down and type it on a typewriter. And, afterwards, maybe I can take it to a publishing house in the capital?”

“Typing it would be beneficial! However, maybe not everything should be published. It would be best to choose the main things that people need to know. Zosima has not yet blessed us to publish a book, but he said that such a time would come. And he did, in fact, bless me to give you these diaries!

“The elder Zosima once asked me if I would like to live in the world like how a monk lives before God, thereby giving an example of a pure life to all worldly people?

“Back then, I answered that I wanted to stay in the monastery. I didn’t even think, didn’t imagine that such a life was possible in the world! But now, I know that this is possible! And, moreover, it is very necessary for people to have such examples next to themselves in everyday life. But for this one needs to be able:

— to love people, but without clinging to them,

— to not force people to kindness, but to teach this by one’s own example, by one’s love, by one’s whole life,

— to speak the Word of God in time, while allowing each person to make his or her own choice,

— to not drag people along, and to not force them to be righteous, but to deeply understand everyone and explain things to him or her in ways that are in accordance with that person’s mind. Then it will become clear how to help the person whom God has put for a long time in your life next to you — or whom He has allowed to be together with you for a short meeting.

“You, Zosia, are now able to realize this dream of Zosima: to live in the world — but being with God in every moment!”

Zosia raised her eyes to fr. Alexander.

He rejoiced at her clear, clean gaze and the radiant and warm light in her spiritual heart. It is rare to see a soul that shines with such sincerity and purity! Even in one’s gaze such qualities are reflected!

Zosia said:

“You say: ‘to be with God in every moment!’ But it still does not work out for me… Is it possible?

“Nevertheless, I will try not to lose the warmth of the heart!”

* * *

The wheels of the train gently tapped along, taking Zosia to the capital.

She sat for a long time at the window, behind which, alternating pictures of the awakening spring beauty floated.

The remaining seats in the compartment were free, Zosia was riding alone. Apparently, there would be more passengers later.

Zosia carefully took out the notebooks which had been presented to her. She opened the journal entries of fr. Alexander, which had never been read by her.

From the Journal of fr. Alexander:

I am starting these writings, apparently, too late…

A year has already passed since the day when the elder Zosima left his body…

And now, I realize that if I do not write down the elder’s words, then they will be lost. I refer to the invaluable knowledge that he told me and to what I had seen and heard during the seven years of training by him, and what I can testify to…

Over the years that I was a disciple of the elder Zosima, I saw many miraculous healings, but the transfiguration of human souls was even more miraculous. Each of his conversations healed, first of all, the souls. And it gave hope for further life, and the fear of the death of the body was cast out…

But how to put all this into words?…

I now cannot write down everything in the exact sequence of those many days that I spent next to the elder Zosima. Therefore, I will begin to write down that which is vividly recalled at this moment. I will begin to spell out his words about love for God, because they live in me — as an unshakable support:

“Let God be all that you have! Do not desire anything but the closeness of God!

“Happiness will not be taken away from you when you are cognizing with your love — the Love of God!

“Do not wish to be praised for your zeal, do not wish for thanks from those whom you helped!

“Rejoice in God! Rejoice every day, every hour, every moment!”

“But how can I learn to live in this joy? Sometimes, this joy is with me; and other times, it is not… What should I do?”

“All this is simple! Look for it in the spiritual heart! This joy appears in your heart when you invite God there and let Him be there!

“Your body is like a vessel for the life of God! God has breathed this Life-Giving Radiance into you and others!

“If a person does not know about it, then he or she neglects the purity of the soul! And such a person’s thoughts will be gloomy, self-derogatory, or self-praising! And, because of this, a person’s life can become unrighteous.

“But by attention and respect for the purity of the soul — this Light of God, like in a lamp, can be maintained.

“There are a lot of written tips on how to ignite this Light and keep it… But, until you yourself start your vigil, all of such words will be empty!

“It took me many years to make Unity in the Spirit permanent.

“One’s body may be busy with various tasks, or the small mind of man can be loaded with labor — but, nevertheless, let the heart continue to soar in the Divine Light, like a bird!

“And then the soul becomes inseparable from God!

“And — like sunshine — God’s Love pours, no matter what the body does!

“How then, you ask, to cognize this Grace of God in the heart and not to lose it?

“The first concern should be to always try to feel the Response of God.

“To your love which is turned to God, to your thoughts which are directed towards Him — God’s Answers come! But man will notice these Responses only when — in the stillness of the heart — the attention of the soul is directed only to God.

“From this, begins the experience of understanding the reality of the existence of Living God. And the sensation of the Presence of God comes!

“Even just believing in God is good… But the experience of Contact of the soul with God — reveals to man the Life-Giving Light, Which will nourish the soul!

“For some, this can happen during Communion… For some — in different ways…

“Before — a person was as if in a dream, and his or her faith was not alive, but existed only “by the rules”…

“But when the Response of God is known, then the soul comes to real life! God touched the soul with His Breath — and the human soul awoke! And then a person saw that God is the Living God!

“The soul resurrects due to the Contact with the Spirit of God!

“If the delight of Touching Living God suddenly seems commonplace to you, fear then the cooling down of your heart love!

“The happiness from the Touch of God to the soul is always new! This is the Great Miracle! It is as if a door to Heavenly Life is opened for a while for the soul!

“If you suddenly get bored, it means that the main thing that makes you — as a soul — alive, has been lost! And then such a state of yours will not elevate you to Oneness with the Holy Spirit and with the Heavenly Father!

“And the second concern should be to learn how to maintain this awareness of life in the Holy Spirit.

“Yes, it is possible to make the Flame of Love unquenchable in the spiritual heart!

“This is easy when you shine for others, and when — through you — God gives His Helping Hand! It is joyful!

“But this is not achievable in one day…

“A person who has mastered this step of growth and is growing up in the Holy Spirit will cognize the Great Happiness!

“No matter what happens to a person from outside, no matter how much people of hell persecute or reproach him or her, no matter how much the devotees are tormented by worldly hardships of the outside world — for such persons God’s Love is like an Unstoppable Flow, shining in the souls and pouring out to help others!

“No matter how the mind tries to deviate, the heart that loves the Lord is on guard!

“And it is impossible to turn such a devotee away from the True Path, the Path of becoming closer and closer to God! Because a spiritual heart that is filled with the Endless Love of God already has an inextricable connection!

“And after — the third concern for the devotee comes, which has no end. This is the complete immersion of the soul in the Life of God!

“Personal love, mind, and power are then replaced by God’s Love, God’s Wisdom, and God’s Power! I will not talk about this. This should be cognized by everyone, by giving oneself entirely to the Heavenly Father!”

* * *

Zosia closed the notebook. The soft light of the setting sun outside the window merged with the Light that filled the compartment of the car. It seemed to Zosia that she saw in this Light the appearance of the elder Zosima. He smiled affectionately, then said: “If you want, I will always be next to you, I will help you!”

… In childhood, Zosia often saw the elder in her dreams, like now — in the Radiant Light… And she could often hear his words. But then this happened less and less often…

And now Zosia again felt like a little girl. And her doubts — yes! — disappeared!

“I can see and hear the elder Zosima!” — she thought. Tears of joy even came to her eyes!

She looked at the setting sun and recalled the elder’s words that were once addressed to her — a little girl during a winter evening:

“It only seems to us that the sun is not there, because we cannot see it beyond the horizon! But it is there! And it is shining! It always shines!

“And God is always with us! Never be afraid of anything, Zosia: for God is with you, next to you, and in your heart! His Love never stops! Accept It!”