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Four Friends

Zosia, of course, told Victor about Olga:

“I made friends with Olga from our course. Do you remember? — we met her at the shelter. She’s an amazing person! Let’s all walk together this Sunday!”

“Is that the beautiful girl from the board of trustees? And aren’t you afraid that I might fall in love with her? Okay, I’m joking! Let me invite Denis, my friend at the Academy, do you remember him? Let’s go for a walk together!”

“Agreed!”

... Denis was from a family with a tradition of becoming sailors. His father died during the Russo-Turkish war, when Denis was not even a year old. His brother, Sergey, was much older and had served in the Navy for a long time. Denis was not permitted to join the Naval Cadet Corps because of health reasons. This all became an impulse for him to choose medicine as a profession. He decided that he would certainly find a way to serve at sea, even if it meant doing so as a physician!

The general conversation of such a diverse (in their opinions) group of young people that day was centered around the future of Russia, and about how to improve people’s lives.

Olga asked:

“Victor, how do you imagine the future after your revolution?”

“Our aim is to give freedom to the oppressed classes. And afterwards, the people themselves will decide how to arrange their lives! And I’m confident that they’ll solve it well!”

“The people is just a word… It is composed of individuals! These people are all so different! And it’s so hard to find agreement even among those who want to give freedom and rights to all citizens of the country!

“Even among us, our understandings of what is good for people are different!

“When I used to read Leo Tolstoy often and enthusiastically, I decided to help the peasants: I tried to organize a school for children and tried to change many things… In the end, I understood that I was trying to improve the lives of people about whom I knew almost nothing! I didn’t know their desires, their aspirations, or traditions… I realized that I was trying to change something that I didn’t really know anything about!

“Out of all those attempts of mine, only the school remains. And currently, only ten children and two adults go there. No one else needed this school! True, it is still working…”

... Olga laughed with sadness and then continued:

“A strongly inspired young man was hired there, to whom I pay a salary. And even if I stop paying, he would rather die of hunger than stop teaching the children! Perhaps, of all people, this school has benefited mainly him!

“You and Zosia saw the children’s shelter. Young ladies work there from the female courses… This gives them some emancipation in life… Yes! But the benefits are much less than planned! And if it were not for the large amount of money that I pay them, then none of it would have happened!”

“That’s the problem: all such things are handouts from the rich to the poor! But when all citizens are equal, then everything will be different!” — Victor said.

“And what? Will there no longer be smart and stupid, kind and greedy, or hardworking and lazy people?

“And it’s not only revolutionaries who think about how people can be benefited! For example, I now believe that through medicine I myself will begin to bring benefit to people; though not great, but real. Everything is clear here: from physicians — there is definitely a benefit!”

... Victor smiled:

“You and Zosia should talk and talk with each other about this subject! She thinks that helping the body without helping the soul is of little use at all! And, that the most important thing in life is the transformation of that invisible soul itself!”

“Well, Victor, you should know that I agree with Zosia about this!

I’m very lucky in life to have met Zosia! Now I understand a lot about faith in the existence of God, about humility, and about myself!

“In Zosia, there is that purity and simplicity towards which we should grow and grow! Or maybe ’grow’ is the wrong word here. Possibly, we should purify and expose the true qualities of the soul, which we often hide from others in shame!”

... Zosia wanted to stop Olga’s praise, but Olga continued:

“It’s okay, Zosia: I’m telling the truth! When else will I have a chance to say all this?!

“All my erudition and intelligence are nothing compared to such a purity as hers! This is like in Tolstoy’s parable about the three hermits. A so-called smart aleck of a church visited the hermits on their island and proudly tried to teach them how to pray properly. When that man left on a boat, the three hermits, having forgotten his instructions, walked on the water of the sea, holding hands, in order to catch up with him and relearn his ‘teachings’… Like this — Zosia lives! She is as if transparent before God!

“Therefore, I think that it is very useful for all of us to be with her, to hold her hand, and all hold hands together! Maybe then, we will not fall, we will not stumble in this life, we will find the right path, and we will learn what God reveals only for pure hearts!

“For example, next to Zosia, I understand a lot about myself: about my pride, about my desires…

“Even from childhood, there has always been a desire in me ‘to be good’, and not just good, but to be ‘better than everyone else’! And I did this so that everyone could love me and admire me!…

“Previously, I only occasionally noticed this in myself. And even when I noticed it, I then just tried to hide it from others.

“It’s right to do good deeds not ‘for show’, but to do it in secret and not boast about what was done!

“But, anyway, inside, I always wanted everyone to admire my deeds!

“Of course, the joy, when it helped someone, was, and is always, very big! This joy is real and right!

“But inside me, pride also remains. So, I live, knowing about myself that which is not always visible to others…

But one cannot hide the truth from oneself!

“It turns out that I get more satisfaction from the gratitude of people or from their admiration, than from God’s Joy for the good deeds that I try to do…

“And I first noticed this after having been next to Zosia! And this is very important to me! And it is also important that now I can tell you about this! Previously, I would have been ashamed even to admit something like this to myself!

“I now understand that the reason I did not want to become an artist or writer, was not only because of my passion for medicine, but also because of this pride: in art, I could not become the best among people!”

... Zosia could not stand it any longer:

“Well, you completely overpraised me, Olga!

“However, friends, what Olga understood and said aloud about herself turned out to be similar to the group confessions of the very first Christians! Nowadays, only very few people want and can act so. They are those who already have no false self-justifying in themselves!”

... On this day, only Denis remained silent. It was not difficult to guess that he was fascinated by Olga. This nascent falling-in-love deprived him of any desire to talk about transformations in society or about purifying the soul! Olga “enchanted” him with her beauty, intelligence, and openness, and her courage in speeches!

... In the future, the four friends gathered together more than once.

The talks were about the future of Russia, about how to make smart, kind, and talented people — to be those who direct the development of society, how to make education and the culture accessible to all people, how to overcome social inequality, powerlessness, and lack of freedom in the state system. They also talked about medicine. They talked about faith in the existence of God, and whether people need religion. They did not quarrel and did not argue, but expressed their opinions in order to unite the best ideas and create — at least in their thoughts — the project of a society in which there would be harmony and justice.

Winter flew by quickly. Spring, the warmth of May, and the sun beckoned them to spend their free time from classes — in nature.

One day, Olga suggested:

“Next time, let’s go to the park on Yelagin Island! There are boats, and we can take a ride along the canals and ponds. It is very beautiful there!”

Then suddenly Denis suggested:

“Let’s instead go to my family’s cottage on Krestovsky Island! It is very close to there! And the beauty will be similar! Our house, however, is not big, it’s quite modest, and not a manor. But we have our own nice boat there! We can ride using oars, or we can attach a sail to it and even go out into the bay! In childhood, my brother taught me a lot about sailing. Only, we need to ask for his permission and get the keys.”

... Zosia was very happy about this prospect! She had remembered the summer days spent by the sea, and that especially vivid closeness with God that she had cognized then.

She thought a lot about how to give her friends such touches to the reality of the Divine World. She sometimes tried to talk about it, but so far — it did not work out.

Often, Zosia returned to the notebooks and reread the words of Zosima:

“The love that we give to others must be attentive, careful, and active!

“Love without attention and care for those, whom we love, will manifest only as what we ourselves think is good for them. But when we are really sensitive and attentive to our neighbors, then we provide the help that they actually need.

“Love, which is not manifested in deeds, is only the embryo of genuine, effective love.

“But material acts are not the only manifestations of active love. Love can also be in inaction, in silence, when it is needed.

“Love is active in not only accepting God’s Will, but also in realizing it in life!

“Do not be ashamed of the delight in your heart before the immensity of the Love of God!

“Do not hide your faith before others who do not believe!

“And do not show yourself off as a believer — to shame or humiliate someone!

“May your love for God be natural and unending, like breathing that cannot be stopped without ending bodily life!

“And protect yourself from inclinations towards despondency!

“Learn to maintain a never-ending merriment in your heart: a quiet joy!

“This joy has one reason — God!

“This feeling of a living connection with God is a way not to fall into sorrow and to keep joy in the heart!

“The world needs love: a steady and unconditional love! The more we bring it to the world, the more beautiful life becomes!

“There is already anxiety and contention here in excess! But there is not enough love and peace! If we ourselves live in love, then this alone makes this world a little better. This, by itself, can be counted as a way of serving God!

“Even if at least half of the people could be in peace and love all the time, it would be wonderful to live in such a world!

“God does not exist in mere theories of transforming the world…

“External freedom — that is, to do whatever you want — is impossible in society! And the desire for such freedom can even be dangerous!

“But internal freedom — let it be achieved!

“Such freedom is a property of One, Who knows the Highest. Nothing earthly can bind such a free Soul. Whoever has not experienced this is still wandering in the darkness of suffering. And whoever knows, he or she lives in the Light of Love and Wisdom!

“God is Everything! He is everywhere!

“God lives in everything: both here in the mundane, and beyond the bounds of earthly life!

“God surpasses everything with His Infinity!

“For a soul — in the Light of the Holy Spirit — this becomes clear without any words! And an understanding comes that we are particles of the Divine Life! There, we learn that we are not separate grains, but parts of the Divine Whole, Which can be manifested in each of us!

“And There the life is joyful, full of Love, and Eternal!

“And in the world of matter, we need only purify and transform ourselves as souls in order to learn the selflessness of love, which is real and emanates from God! And then, Light, Joy, and Beauty become an intimate part of our lives!”

... Zosia closed the notebook of the elder Zosima and mentally addressed him:

“How can we help those who have not yet felt the Love of God? How to help those who believe only out of habit from their upbringings, or those who want to love and live honestly without God?”

... The space around Zosia suddenly became special, as if every drop of Love suddenly began to radiate Light. And then Zosia saw the face of the elder Zosima. The face was not clearly visible, but was more like an appearance of Transparency and a slightly wavering Light. And the elder’s look was lively, and Zosima’s eyes looked affectionately right into the soul. And then his words began to come. They were as if being born inside her:

“Silence! Silence must be taught! Do you remember how I taught you to listen to the silence? And after that — to always find peace in the heart, and live in it!

“Without this — no matter how many words you say — it will all be of little use!

“The silence which is complete and deep, in which the mind plunges into Love and falls silent — that’s what you must show to these people!

“And whether or not they really want to know God in this silence, is a choice which each of them must make on their own. This choice is free for every person, and no one has the right to take it away.

“God gives every person a chance to approach Himself!

“When learning this, you can feel the Love of God, the Silence of God — like a breath. Inhale Silence — and exhale Silence, as if It is transparent air!

“It is both inside and outside, in every cell of the body, and in everything around the entire spaciousness of the Divine World, to which there are no boundaries!

“In every being: both in you, and in the trees, and in the birds, and in the flowers, and in the blades of grass — there is God’s Power, Which makes everything alive!

“Remember how the body, which is dead and lifeless, is different from a living body, which is sleeping, for example…

“Only a soul — purified and developed — is able to see God’s Life in everything.

“Seeing so — is real!”