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Words of the Elder Zosima About the Art of Healing

The next morning, they were scheduled to return to the city.

Zosia was a little sad to part with the house and the beach, where they were all so happy during the past days.

… The day before, she and Victor had a small misunderstanding. They did not argue with each other, but… it was as if a small rift began to form between them…

She and Victor still had not managed to fully understand one another. And such an understanding is needed for souls to transform simple mutual attraction into a sufficiently strong love.

On that day, Zosia as if ran into a wall of misunderstanding…

In the past, this self-confidence had made Victor tough, as if making it possible for him to make cruel decisions and perform cruel deeds. Now, however, this self-confidence only applied to his judgments and reasoning about what is true, what is not true, and how one should live rightly…

However, due to his words and this inability to understand one another, a pain remained inside Zosia.

There was a feeling that, apparently, she and Victor were not meant to be together for a long time or to walk alongside one another through life. And she so wanted love to melt that wall of misunderstanding!

Zosia tried to drive away the sad memories of yesterday’s conversation with Victor.

But she didn’t succeed right away. She again and again wondered why, after the conversation, she let him read those few sheets that she had typed about Zosima?

“I should not have done that! It was the wrong time!” — she said to herself.

Now, it seemed to her that it was such a silly and naive hope to believe that by just reading about the elder, he would immediately feel the Love of God… She herself had thought that it was impossible not to understand, not to feel It…

But things did not turn out as she had expected!

“I acted too soon!… As if I didn’t want to see that Victor was still ‘closed’, as fr. Alexander had described this state of a person.”

… Yesterday, she and Victor talked about medicine and about new scientific achievements and their implementation — and everything was great and inspired! But then they turned to questions of faith…

Victor seemed to attack:

“Understand: the path of faith is the path of the weak, Zosia!

“Look at the example of medicine:

“You believe that a person will recover, and when he or she really does recover — that means that it happened ‘according to God’s Will’. And if a person dies or remains crippled, then, in this case, it is “God’s Will” too! So, it turns out that nothing depends on you! Is that not true? Faith is self-deception, a drug like morphine, which removes pain, but does not remove the cause of the pain!”

… Zosia tried with difficulty to select the right words to explain her understanding:

“I was thinking, namely, about the causes of illnesses. And I think that there are more reasons for this than just the damage to some organ. After all, there must be some reason why such damage happened in the first place. In trying to answer this, I have had many thoughts about the fate of man.

“In any treatment, much depends on the patient himself or herself and on the doctor; but even more depends on God. After all, through the doctor, the Will of God is manifested!

“The understanding that comes from God can be a great help! This is not some kind of silly faith; it is knowledge!

“It is difficult to explain this clearly, but we should understand that on the spiritual plane, work is also carried out. So far, I know very little about it. But I think that there, that world also has its own rules, its own laws… However, we still know very little about those laws. But they can be studied!

“Humanity, for example, once knew very little about the laws of practical medicine, and much was considered impossible and forbidden! But now, there are so many new achievements! And there will be even more new discoveries! It is the same case with spiritual healing: there are certain rules, and there is more to it than just reading prayers. Only, this has not yet been investigated earnestly.”

“Your church has always been against any study, against all science! Let me remind you how many doctors were burned alive in bonfires just because they wanted to understand the causes of a disease through autopsy! Was it not?”

“It was… But I’m not against science, quite the opposite!

“I want to tell you something more: that it is possible to combine material science and spiritual science.

“As an example, the elder Zosima and my dad, a physician, worked together to heal many patients! I personally witnessed how help to the soul and help to the body could be combined with great success…”

… Zosia fell silent, feeling that Victor had stopped listening to her, considering her words to be nonsense…

… Then, in the evening, she decided to let Victor read the pages that she had typed from the notebook of fr. Alexander, with which she was most amazed. There, fr. Alexander asked the elder Zosima about how he began to learn to understand God, and about how he discovered that he could heal. Those pages contained a story from the elder about how, gradually, knowledge from God began to come to him, about the principles of helping people, and about how this understanding was not easily given to him:

“Zosima, you never told me about how you learned to heal people by uniting with God’s Power. Tell me! For me, it is very important to hear this!”

“Yes, but what is there to talk about?… It was difficult, and countless mistakes were made!…

“The roots of that understanding began at my first monastery.

“The first such Providence of God happened when the sight returned to a blind man. I didn’t even think about the fact that such assistance could have happened through me. It did not cross my mind that the Power of God could have healed that man by pouring out through my body.

“And then, different rumors started spreading. Not only the monks, but also the parishioners began to talk about this with added exaggerations and fantasies...

“Crowds of people then started coming to receive ‘miraculous deliverances from any ailment’...

“And I myself was like a ‘blind kitten’ back then, I prayed passionately, sometimes even losing consciousness, and sometimes I saw the Light of God… I could not understand why sometimes the healing happened and other times it did not. And I did not think at all about that. I only tried to put all the strength of the soul into the prayers. And I didn’t refuse anyone.

“Six months passed.

“Then I started to get sick very often. The number of people who were successfully healed became fewer and fewer, and those asking for healing became more and more.

“At first, our abbot rejoiced; he wanted to declare me a saint, thereby bringing glory to the monastery.

“And, after difficulties in pursuing such a ‘canonization', he, on the contrary, received an official answer saying that there was no credible sanctity and certainty in those cases of recovery, and that therefore it turns out that all this is ‘the machinations of evil spirits’…

“And they drove me out of the monastery.

“They also didn’t accept me in other monasteries: they were afraid… Our country has always been ‘famous’ for rumors and ‘secret directions from above’…

“But I still did not understand almost anything about the Power of God.

“I walked the earth like a wanderer with a backpack. I didn’t ask for alms. When there was no food and I was starving, I considered it as a fasting for myself. When I met someone who had a disease, I always tried to help, and for this I was presented with food and shelter.

“At that time, I almost always began to take diseases upon myself… One time, I healed a lame little boy, and afterwards I could barely walk for a week, my leg was so badly hurt… And the same sort of things happened in all the other cases too…

“And, without thinking, I considered it a great blessing: to accept the suffering of others onto myself… I thought that it was possible and right to atone for someone else’s sin with my own pain…

“I almost died then.

“One day, when I was lying unconscious by a river, a widowed woman found me and picked me up. She took me to her home out of mercy.

“I was sick for a long time at her house.

“When I recovered a little, I began to help her with the housework.

“That time of my life was special and bright. It was as if I was born again! Strength slowly returned to my body. And any activities in the yard, in the garden, or in the household, brought simple happiness!

“Maybe, it was because I never had my own land or my own home. And here, even though it was not my own, it, nevertheless, felt like a house where I was needed and a land that asked for my care… Or maybe it was good because my every simple deed brought joy to that woman!…

“To this day, I remember the good that I received from her! I’m indebted to her!…

“Aglaya — that was her name…

“She loved me with that kind of selfless love of which women are often capable… It seems to be that in such love like that, they do not directly think about God, but, nevertheless, God Himself is present and shows Himself in that love with Clarity and great Power!

“In her simple deeds and words, there was so much spiritual achievement, simple wisdom, and unselfish love — that, even now, I still remember and learn from this how it is possible to help people without desiring anything in return!

“She had a son named Egor, who was thirteen years old. He had been paralyzed for three years already: working in the tree felling area, he was hit hard by a fallen tree. His father was killed, and Egor’s legs became paralyzed.

“He could not walk or stand at all, he could only sit. At home, he carved and painted spoons and weaved baskets…

“He was a good kid: kind and smart! I then began to teach him to read and write, so that he could also earn a little bit of money to help his mother.

“I decided to stay with Aglaya until Egor was able to stand again on his feet. I believed that God would help…

“But, no matter how hard I tried, I could not heal him! God did not allow this to be done until He instructed me about many things, such as: how — through illness — learning is given to both the healer and the patient, though which great help for souls is gained! Also, about how every event that occurs, not only affects a person, but also spreads knowledge to many others.

“A turning point for me happened when I gradually began to hear the Voice of God and to receive clarifications. Starting as if from childhood, I then revised my whole life according to the understanding that God taught and was now teaching me through Mergence with Him in the Fire of my heart.

“When God had finished instructing me about His Power, about the purpose of bodily healings, and about spiritual transformations, which should go hand in hand with the healing of an ailment, — then the ability of passing the Holy Spirit through my body returned.

“I began to see how, by connecting with that Light, it became possible to expel a disease. I began to understand: when it was possible or impossible to heal, and whether or not there was permission for this from God.

“Then it became possible to heal Egor. It did not happen all at once, but little by little. I had to restore the little streams of Light that flow through one’s body and make them alive. I then learned — in this Light of the Holy Spirit — to see the body of a patient. And with the hands of the soul, I learned to act. These hands — they became as if only partially mine, and partially God’s. And the Power for healing in them exists only when the soul abides in Oneness with the Light of God.

“I then also began to learn much more about various auxiliary methods that can be used if it is impossible to remove an illness immediately and miraculously. For example, how it’s possible to fill water or herbal brews with God’s Light-Bearing Force and to carry it to a patient. And how, with the help of such infusions, you can repair a lot in the body. I also began to learn how a person’s faith in healing can affect recovery. I began to understand how the correction of vices of a soul allows a person to change his or her fate.

“In this way, I almost became a village healer!

“Aglaya very much wanted me to stay with her, as a layman, and, little by little, to become an addition to their small and happy family!

“I had a choice then, but I didn’t see that. I wanted only the monastic life.

“Egor’s healing was all that I could thank her with. And for her, that miracle was great!

“She let me — at my request — to continue on a monastic path through life.

“From that point on, I, no longer blindly, but by the Will of God, began to learn to do everything. I wandered quite a bit, being taught by God every day!

“And, in this way, I am still continuing to learn!

“Then, I came to this monastery. Ignatius was already the abbot, and he accepted me due to the previous friendship that we had formed long ago at the seminary.

“That is the story…”

* * *

In the morning, Victor gave back the sheets of paper to Zosia.

He gave them to her calmly, and said:

“Later, we can talk, if you want. The cab will be arriving soon, and it will be necessary to load our things. Are you ready? I can help.”

… Zosia put the sheets in a pile and closed her suitcase.

“You can take this. And this — I’ll carry myself,” — Zosia said, pointing to a small bag. Physicians usually take such bags with them on calls. They contain much that is needed for first aid.

“You didn’t have this before. Where did it come from?” — Victor asked.

“I had it. But, Natalya gave me a dress, and so, now it no longer fits in my suitcase.”

“So, this bag can be carried separately. Are there, as expected, medical instruments in it?”

“Yes. This is from my dad. He always took it with him, even when he wasn’t on calls, but just in case suddenly someone needed medical help.”

“And could you use them yourself? Could you decide to carry out an emergency operation?”

“I don’t know… I myself have never operated on anyone, and I am not allowed to do this yet… But there are sometimes hopeless cases in which one might need to help someone urgently. And, if needed, I could certainly at least use the medicines, bandages, or the syringe.”

… They went downstairs.

Peter asked:

“Have you changed your minds about leaving this place? If so, would you like me to speak with the owner about renting for another month? Without me, you could continue resting!”

“No! — Victor answered for everyone. — It would be better for me to use this time practicing in your clinic this month since it will be my senior year. In this way, I will also be able to earn a little money.”

Even during the time that Victor had a falling out with his father, he refused to accept money from him for the necessities of life. Now, despite the reconciliation, he did not change his position and still tried to earn money to pay for all his needs himself.

Peter liked the idea that Victor would be there, under supervision, and that in the clinic, he would be able to gain work experience.

Zosia hesitated in choosing whether to stay or to work this month in the clinic together with Victor.

“Peter, can I work as a nurse? I would love to! I’m not used to living without a hospital! Can I, at least, do just cleaning and nursing?

“After all, I still have no medical education certificate…”

“I’ll try to arrange it under my responsibility,” — the professor looked at her fondly. He already mentally saw Zosia as Victor’s future wife and longed for such an outcome of events.