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How God Can Be Cognized/Test from Huang Di

Test from Huang Di

“When you come, you should come
being ready to die.”

Juan Matus [27]

Juan Matus once explained to Carlos Castaneda that “Learning never gives what one expected… One’s purpose turns out at the other side of a battlefield. And thus one has tumbled upon the first of one’s natural enemies: fear… And if one, terrified in its presence, runs away, this enemy will put an end to one’s quest…” [6,27].

... We began working on a new stage of our development. We made constant trips to a forest — to new places of power. Every day we had new meditations, new feelings, and new unforgettable meetings with Divine Teachers, Whom we were learning to feel, to see, and to hear. It turned out that there were so many! And every one of Them added His or Her own inimitable tinge of Love to our existence, gave us His or Her favorite meditations...

When we started working with the “trans-mirror” layers of the Absolute, Vladimir let us meet Divine Huang Di. This Holy Spirit rose into our anahatas from the universal depths and introduced His Face into them... Then we, as consciousnesses, jumped into His Universal Anahata, and the material world disappeared for us. Thus we plunged into the world of protoprakriti and then — deeper and deeper into the Fathomlessness of the Creator’s Love...

One day we went to the forest in order to stay overnight there and be able to listen to the spring songs of black grouses at dawn in this way.

I was expecting nothing but rest and relaxation from that trip.

However, God had completely different plans...

We walked for a long time along a country road. A high night sky shone with stars, the silhouettes of trees were discernible on the sides of the road, the hum from spring songs of frogs was all around...

As I began to meditate, a wide wave of Divine Tenderness and Calm rolled onto me. It was Huang Di Who came.

I expected that He, as always, will open His Universal Arms, flood me with Love, and give me a new meditation...

But He announced that this time He came with another purpose: He came to seriously speak with me...

“I offer a new stage of work, a stage that will entail the departure from the earthly plane. If you feel that you are not ready for such a sudden turnaround of events, — run away right now while it is good!...”

... Indeed, I was not ready for such a turn... I felt this so keenly that I was not able to think about anything else but about the forthcoming death of my body. One thing is to learn not to identify yourself with the body during the meditation: “Let’s imagine that the body has died... I do not have it anymore... The body was nothing but a capsule, while I am a huge spiritual heart, a consciousness free from matter, existing independently of the body... Now I can live without it easily...”. I was able to do this in meditation as many times as one wants, but here it seems the reality!...

Even though Huang Di did not say anything about terms, I believed 100% that the death of my body would occur, if not this night — tomorrow for sure, and it would not be a meditative death but a real one!

Over and above, Huang Di was “adding oil to the fire” by reviving in my memory the stories of Vladimir according to which in the past it was impossible to drive along the country roads during official holidays, because fights, including knife-fights, were everywhere and drunken locals were lying in the middle of the roads... This added keenness to my feelings...

Suddenly I realized that today was the first of May! An official holiday!...

I was moving along the night road and was not expecting the dematerialization of my body anymore but a much more primitive death. With my mental sight, I was already seeing a drunk local who would jump out of the bushes and cut my throat...

I could not meditate anymore, I could not grasp even for a moment the bliss in which, seemingly, I had already learned to live constantly. Just in case, I tried to stay closer to Vladimir...

It seemed that my thoughts were tearing me apart. A heap of them fell on me! “I did not have time to do this and that!” Tears were streaming by my cheeks...

I was realizing that no matter how bad I feel, I could not run away, because I could not live my former life anymore — a life without God! However, when I pictured to myself the death of my body, I had spasms — for I still did not want to die! I need to learn so many things, I just started the Path! I have a daughter whom I want to bring up, paintings that I want to do, the dream of working again in the cinema...

I was writhing in pain until I understood that I was trying to walk two paths simultaneously: the path of an ordinary person and the path of a spiritual warrior. And if I had been able to do this before, now I reached the “mark” behind which these roads diverge completely and forever! I would not be able to walk them at the same time anymore. I had to choose one of them once and for all!

I chose it.

... Did God disincarnate me then? Of course, no! This was just a strength test. He tested if I had enough strength of aspiration and courage so as not to turn off halfway.

It was important to test this, because He can offer the subsequent Path to the depths of Him only to the person whose devotion to Him is absolutely sure.

Afterwards, Huang Di resumed that night for me:

“You made the right choice. However, to close the door to the world of illusions — this is just the beginning of the Path. Another thing you need to do is to open the gates to the World of the Creator, and not only to open them and enter — but to settle There.

“Remember that your goal is not to get into the nagual*, or to become a magician, or to be free from matter. Your Goal is to attain the real Freedom — Freedom with the capital letter. Beyond the borders of the material world, one can find a great number of paths but only one Path leads to the Freedom: it is the Path of the heart! It is so because only love can illuminate the Path!”

... What happened next? Months and years of persistent spiritual work followed, but from this point that time stopped which was measured for me by the events of worldly life, and it began to be measured only by the new stages of spiritual ascension.