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Chapter 9.
Jesus’ Crucifixion
and Resurrection

Before Passover, I expected to again see Jesus and all who were with Him — and have them as our guests. Our home was in Bethany, and this was only a few hours from Jerusalem.

I washed everything in the house, and prepared the meal as Jesus had taught: that is, without a sacrificial animal, and only with bread, flatbreads, fruits, nuts, and vegetables instead.

… It was sad for me that Jesus did not come to us.

Then one of the neighbors said that people saw Jesus with His disciples in Jerusalem, and that many people greeted Him with rejoicing.

Now, I understand that Jesus did not want to put us in danger, for He knew that many of those, who were with Him, would be persecuted in the days to come…

And then, we heard the rumor that He was arrested by Caiaphas and handed over to Pontius Pilate. And that a trial was to be held.

Lazarus and I hurried to Jerusalem to tell the truth about Jesus.

But, by the time we got there, it was already too late.…

… Lazarus and I tried to find our sister, Mary. And we found her at the gates of the Roman Praetoria, where the trial of Jesus had already taken place.

We were not allowed to go in there and be listened to.

Mary said that everything has already been decided, and that Jesus was sentenced to death.

Our last hope that Jesus would be released collapsed: at the request of the people, one of the prisoners could be released, and a criminal named Barabbas was chosen for this purpose…

I did not see Andrew and the other closest disciples of Jesus. I knew only that John cared for the mother of Jesus. She was beside herself with grief.

Lazarus and I took Mary to the house of one of our distant relatives. She could barely stand on her feet after everything she had been through.

I did not have reliable information about the other disciples. But the betrayal of Judas and the events that followed were a great trial for all of them. From the words of Mary, I understood that they were now gathered outside the city and were deciding: should they now do anything to save Jesus? They were witnesses to the fact that Jesus Himself had allowed Himself to be arrested… And now the disciples did not know how to act: should they now seek death together with the Teacher or should they escape to then preach the Teachings of Jesus, for which they had been preparing for all these years?

Everyone was at a loss. Many expected Jesus to perform a miracle during the judgment or execution, and this would resolve all doubts. I thought so too, and it gave me strength and hope. I expected Jesus to perform an undeniable miracle for everyone — so that everyone would know that He is Divine! And then there would be no more opportunity for anyone to doubt that the triumph of Divine Justice will come!

I tried a little bit to comfort Mary, for whom it was much more difficult to overcome this grief than me.

She did not cry. She was silent for a long, long time… It seemed to me that with just a little more —she would suddenly leave her body…

Only after a while, did she say:

“Martha, how is all this possible?! The One Who yesterday was called God and praised — is now blasphemed with evil words and condemned to a terrible death by the very same people…

“Oh Martha! Would they execute Him?! All those crowds who praised Him and called Him the Savior — after all, demanded today that He be killed as a criminal villain?! They shouted, wanting His death: ‘Crucify!’. How could that be?! Even Pontius Pilate, a Roman, does not see the guilt of Jesus and wanted to let Him go! And these people… In the court, only a few people dared to testify to the Truth! And false witnesses were brought in by many! They didn’t even let us in!…

“And then they made fun of Jesus!… They even put a crown of thorns on His head, proclaiming that it is instead of a Royal crown!… But He never said that He desired the power and kingdoms of the earth! All His speeches were about the Kingdom of God! And the guard whipped His body! And stones flew at Him from the crowd!…

“They are as if blind and do not know — in their madness and malice — that everyone is responsible before God for all that he or she has said, and for all that he or she has done!

“And now — there will be an execution… It has already been decided…

“I can’t bear it! Let me be killed together with Him!”

“Don’t worry, Mary! You know that He can do anything! And He will show them all His Strength and Divine miracles! It will be in front of everyone when thousands gather…”

“Yes, I know that He can… But just now He did not use that Power to save Himself…

“A few days ago, I found out that this would happen…

“If only you could have seen the look in His eyes that night!…

“On that night, I suddenly woke up — and Jesus was not beside me…

“For some reason, I was anxious, and I went to look for Him.

“I saw Him.

“Jesus was alone. He was sitting motionless — so motionless that it was hard to imagine that there was life in His body…

“The silence of the starry night filled the space around us.

“In that place where He was as a Soul, there was no space for anything earthly, for any ordinary human thoughts and emotions. He was One with His Heavenly Father at a Depth that was not yet discovered by me…

“I was afraid by how long He was not here!

“He looked at me — His eyes were so bottomless…

“Tenderness and Light usually flowed from His eyes. But now, I also saw the Eternity and Infinity of another Existence…

“Jesus, when He noticed my anxiety, said very calmly and casually:

‘The time has come… To be resurrected, one must first pass through death: the body must be put to death.

‘You mustn’t be afraid! And try not to forget everything you’ve learned!

‘Your work is yet to come: you will carry to people My Knowledge of God and the Way to Him!’

“And then, as if returning into this world, He added with caress:

‘Come to the campfire, Mary! It’s cold, and you’re shaking!’ — and He hugged me…”

“… A few days later, after the general jubilation with which we were then met by people in Jerusalem, I forgot about that episode…

“We gathered in one of the houses, and then Jesus said that one of us would betray Him…

“Everyone was so embarrassed!…

“All of us were now thinking about what ordeals were waiting for us… And that every one of us might not get the strength or wisdom to withstand it…

“But then, Jesus spoke about the bright future, about the spiritual seeds that had been planted and would grow up. He also reasoned about the works that lied ahead for us. And He said that there would be many who would be involved in our work, throughout the whole Earth!

“And then there was relief in our hearts!…

“… And later — before dawn — He was grabbed in the garden by a guard…

“… Our Judas… I won’t tell you more about this because I’m not able to understand it!…

“Warriors with swords and staves, and a crowd then approached.

“Andrew, Peter, and others of ours wanted to fight for Jesus… But Jesus stopped them.

“And Jesus even helped the warrior, who had his ear cut off by the sword. Jesus healed the ear: it grew back on and the bleeding stopped…

“Do you understand? He allowed Himself to be arrested!…

“And the soldiers were afraid when they bound Him, for He said that if He had wanted to, He would have been released by the Great Divine Power at once, but He gave Himself into their hands, so that the prophecies would come true and everyone would know about the Power and Glory of God-the-Father!”

“Well, Mary, you said yourself that the Divine Power of Jesus will soon be revealed to all!”

… Mary tried to reconnect with the Light of the Holy Spirit, for only in this Mergence could the pain, which was from the thoughts of the upcoming execution, be withstood.

I also tried to connect with the Divine Light. It was not as easy for me to do, as it was for Mary. But I still believed that the execution would not take place. And this hope helped…

… Then we walked together with many people to the place of the execution…

The huge crowd, hungry for this spectacle, seemed so… strange…

So recently they had all flocked to hear Jesus and to be healed. He had preached and healed them.…

And now all these same people were yearning to see Him tortured and executed!

Why did they not stand up for Him? After all, if all of them now came to Pontius Pilate, the whole of Rome would shudder! And the execution would be repealed!…

* * *

I saw the body of Jesus nailed to the cross…

I stood beside Mary, Lazarus, John, the mother of Jesus, and a few others who dared to be here.

I won’t describe it in detail: you all know it…

I’m just begging you: people, live so that the new Messiahs won’t have to go through that….

… How were we to go on living when Jesus was no longer bodily with us?

Yes, we had thought about it sometimes before… But, back then, our future was shrouded in bright dreams…

We all had hoped that since the Savior had come to us, then we would all be saved. And that He would change the lives of people all over the Earth — He, Who had been chosen by the Heavenly Father for this great Mission!

It really happened to some extent. He changed both us, and many around! And many souls for millennia got a chance for a conscious transformation of themselves!

But, in reality, it was not what we had thought and hoped it would be… We were waiting for paradise on the Earth — immediately after His sermons! We had expected that the Religion of Wise Love would be established immediately and that the unity of all nations would come on the basis of this Divine Knowledge!

But… everyone enters the Abode of the Heavenly Father only by oneself, having personally passed the entire difficult Path of self-purification and self-development!

* * *

During the execution, of course, I did not think about all of this.

I hoped for a miracle even until the last moment, thinking: now He will show visibly the Power of the Heavenly Father before the whole crowd — and everyone will believe and prostrate before Him, and the Truth will triumph for all! Just a little more — and the cross will crumble to dust, in the radiance of Light and Power, Jesus will appear before people and will testify that He is the Divine Messenger, and that He and the Heavenly Father are One!

I was not alone in these dreams, many of the devotees of Jesus were waiting for the same thing.

And there were not only those who loved Him who were waiting for something supernatural… Others, mocking Him, cried: “What are you: you saved others, but cannot save yourself?”…

But something terrible was happening. The cross with the body of Jesus was raised up, and two criminals were also crucified next to Him.

One of them asked Jesus to perform a miracle and free them… And the second asked for the Kingdom of Heaven and the salvation of the soul…

Only when Jesus told John that He was to take care of His mother, did I suddenly realize that He would not save the life of His crucified body with the Divine Power…

It seemed to me that time had stopped… Everything that was happening did not fit in with my understanding!… I did not even know of what to ask God!…

… People, having seen enough of the terrible sight, began to disperse…

But nature itself seemed to be stirred up by the incredible villainy, and there was a feeling that the end of the universe was near… Clouds thickened… Heat and stuffiness surrounded us… A thunderstorm without rain began… Lightning lit the sky with fiery flashes… Thunder shook the air… The earth itself shook…

And then fear seized many: “What if indeed the Son of God, the Messiah, is being killed now?”. And many fled then in panic…

I was no longer able to look at what was happening…

… Suddenly, I felt the gaze of Jesus — it was a familiar and calmly-affectionate gaze from the great Depth. He — from the cross — encouraged us all…

And there was a Great Light into Which He went into. While we — remained…

… Very strong rain began.

Lazarus asked us to hide in the house of a man named Joseph, who offered his help. Now he and many other nobles were going to go ask Pontius Pilate to be allowed to take the body of Jesus and bury it according to custom. This Joseph was ready to give up the burial place which had been carved in the rock for his own body.

* * *

We, in those days, as if forgot the predictions about the possibility of resurrection. We no longer hoped for all the contradictory predictions from the ancient Scriptures…

We already knew that Pontius Pilate allowed Joseph to take the body of Jesus, which had been removed from the cross, and put it in the place of burial. And it was done.

On the third day early in the morning, Mary took myrrh and incense and said:

“I’ll go to pay tribute to Jesus’ body. Although it is now nothing more than abandoned clothes…

“And then — we will continue to work as He taught us. After all, if we do not continue the work of Jesus, then what was the point of all of this?… For if we, His closest friends, cannot hold the Heavenly Light of Love within us, then it turns out that everything He did was in vain!

“We know about His Oneness with the Father, and about the Greatness of Him — the Perfect Soul! So, let us strive to become like Him!”

… Mary packed up and went to the cave, made in the rock, where they put the body of Jesus. John, Peter, I, and several other women accompanied Mary.

As we approached, we saw that the stone had fallen down and that the body of Jesus was not inside the cave.

A few of the guards came up and said that there was Light in the cave in the morning, then the stone that blocked the entrance fell down with a crash, and it was discovered that the cave was empty. Their companions hurried to Pontius Pilate with the report on it.

Peter and John went inside and touched the cloth in which the body had been wrapped.

Then they and the women went back to tell the others what had happened. Mary and I stayed.

Mary intended to appeal to God — and plunged into a deep Mergence.

Two Holy Spirits — in male Form and consisting of the Divine Light, the size of ten humans — appeared to our eyes. Their Faces shone with Tenderness, and Their Divine Hands embraced us. Care and Peace came from Their majestic Appearances. They spoke to us:

“Rejoice! Jesus is risen! Don’t look for His dead body: He is alive!”

… Mary told me that she wanted to stay here for a while longer to ask Them about God’s Will for us: how we should live…

* * *

After a while, Mary caught up to me and told me that she saw Jesus, Who — really has resurrected! Here are her words:

“I asked those Holy Spirits to allow me to see Jesus. And then, He came up to me Himself! No, don’t think that I’ve seen only a non-incarnate Spirit! But His body was also alive, resurrected! I touched Him!

“He told me:

‘Why are you surprised, my dear Dawn, as if you did not know about My Love and my Strength?

‘Yes, the human body can be transformed into a Divine State.

‘Yes, I can appear now in this State anywhere and at any time.’

“He also said that He would come again and talk with all His faithful disciples!

“And then Jesus disappeared, as if dissolving in the transparency of the air.”

… And Mary went to tell these glad tidings to all the others.

* * *

A little later, Jesus came to me. I was alone in the house then.

Jesus revealed to me the Vastness of the Kingdom of God, His Love, and His Tenderness…

In this Love, I… as if melted!

I just wanted to pour out to Jesus the pleasure from this meeting and my gratitude… But there came such Peace that thoughts and words disappeared… There was only God Who is Eternal, Infinite, and Who is present everywhere in the Depth and manages Everything! No one and nothing can harm this Ocean of Peace and Tenderness, Love and the Greatest Power! In Him — is the Source of all things visible and invisible!

Jesus approached again and said: “This is your true Home, Martha! This is the House of all the Perfect Ones, the Heavenly Kingdom, where I await you all, My beloved!”

… But many years passed before I learned to enter into this Unity on my own and to live firmly in the fullness of the Mergence with the Heavenly Father.