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Chapter 7.
One Must Cultivate Love and Purity in Oneself!

Now sometimes Jesus’ disciples also tried their hand at preaching and healing. Several times Jesus allowed them, two or three at a time, to go to the villages and learn to preach without Him.

Sometimes they came back, beaten with stones and upset by their failures. But sometimes, it also happened that their sermons were successful.

I had not yet been allowed to go with them, even though I really wanted to tell all the people what I now knew.

… And then one day, we went with Andrew to buy food in the nearest village.

At the market, a little distance away from Andrew, when I was choosing which oil to buy, I heard how one man said to another, pointing to Andrew: “He looks like someone who walks with Jesus from Nazareth, says disturbing words, and pretends to heal!”. People around then began to discuss the rumors about Jesus and the miracles that He accomplished.

They, in particular, talked about the resurrection of Lazarus: that it is not true and that it is all just fiction…

I did not consider it necessary to restrain myself and objected:

“I’m the sister of that Lazarus, and I can attest to the fact that the resurrection of him by Jesus is the truth. My brother had been dead for four days when Jesus brought him back to life in the body.”

… With all the passion and soul power that I could muster, I began to talk about Jesus… My voice was breaking, and tears were welling in my eyes.

I did not expect the reaction that followed… There was so much anger in those people! They accused me of lying! Many in arousal began to shout curses at me and Jesus! And then someone yelled calling upon everyone to throw stones at me.…

I was always such an obedient and decent girl, I had never before caused a disturbance among people. And suddenly — all this!…

But I was so sure of my rightness and of my knowledge of Jesus that I was not afraid, but only began to argue even more hotly!

Andrew ran up and quickly pulled me away from the angry mob. Curses and stones were flying at us.

As a result, we were unable to buy provisions…

We came back with nothing, and I felt guilty and miserable. I was crying because of the injustice.

Blood was flowing from Andrew’s temple: it had been grazed by one of the thrown stones.

But Andrew, not paying attention to it, calmly and tenderly told me that it is not always necessary to prove the truth to everyone, and that even Jesus Himself seeks to speak only to those people who want to listen to Him and are willing to believe His words. And that there is no sense in convincing a malevolent crowd about anything.

I barely listened to Andrew and did not even try to hold back my tears. I was so bitter and ashamed! After all, because of me, there were problems…

Jesus met us with His usual caress. He held His hand over Andrew’s face — and the bleeding stopped.

Then He came up to me and hugged me:

“This case is not worthy of such tears of yours! You will hear many more lies from people about the Heavenly Father and Me…

“Now, as long as I am with you, there is no reason to grieve for what is small, when you should rejoice about what is Great!”

“But everyone will be hungry because of me!…”

“Well, is that such a problem?!”

“Oh yes!…”

“Then let’s feed all of us ourselves! Bring water from the stream, Martha, — and we’ll have lunch!”

… I could not stop my distress from the whole experience. At the stream, I was a little late, trying to calm down. The water running down the rocks was cool and clear. I washed my face and hands with it for a long time before getting water into the jug.

When I returned, Jesus took my hands in His. And then together, we started breaking the last piece of bread we had left.…

Jesus was behind my body. A special warmth and Power emanated from Him. His Hands broke the bread with my hands. And warm slices of bread, as if freshly baked, filled a large wooden dish.

It is one thing to hear of such events… But it is another thing — with palms, which were in the Hands of Jesus, to touch the bread which was created by Him… My joy now was without bounds!

When the bread was enough for all, Jesus said:

“Well, you see how simple everything is in this world, if you do not lose contact with the Heavenly Father even for a moment!

“And it is not necessary to fall into despair from failure, when you know that you are on the right Path!

“You must still learn how to control your emotions, dear Martha! And you already know how to do it!”

… I was serving water from a jug. Everyone washed their hands and settled on the ground around the campfire and the improvised table.

At this time, a shepherd with a herd of sheep and goats passed by. He asked our permission to share with us the warmth of the fire and our food, and, in return, offered a lame sheep, which hurt its leg and was almost unable to move on its own.

But Jesus held out His hand — and the animal’s leg was healed. The lamb cheerfully ran to the rest of the herd.

The shepherd was filled with the surprise of a simple-minded person, to whom a Divine miracle is just a joy and a natural part of everyday life. He gave us cakes with cottage cheese and sat down with us for a modest meal.

The next day, when the shepherd and his flock left us and went on their way, the disciples asked Jesus:

«How do You do all this, Master? You didn’t teach us everything that You Yourself can do! How do You multiply food and instantly heal grievous wounds?

“We try to use the healing powers, and we are learning to direct the streams of Light… But it is so little compared to what You do with ease! How can we learn this?”

“I have already told you a little about how everything, which we see from the outside through the eyes of our bodies, is actually the Light in its essence!

“One, who has oneself learned to be the Light of the Holy Spirit and to look out from this Light, can see the Light nature of everything that is manifested in this world, — by one’s spiritual vision.

“Yes, both stones, and bread, and our bodies are merely organized in a special way and exist according to certain Divine laws related to the accumulation of fluid Light.

“The Sons and Daughters of God are given opportunities to influence — by the power of Souls which are also the Light — the Light that is the Basis of solid objects.

“In this way, we can create bread out of the Light. Or — cure diseases by restoring the natural order of the Light in the bodies or in their particular organs.

“This ability to influence everything in the universe is laid down by God in the nature of a spiritually growing person.

“But even before developing the Divine vision and the Divine understanding of the essence of all that is happening, almost any person still partially uses these abilities, but does this unconsciously.

“The energies, filled with the power of the emotions of love, produce creation and healing.

“And when a person’s energies pour out, obeying the emotions of fear or hatred, — destruction occurs.

“It often happens that someone’s negative emotions disturb the harmony inside and around our bodies. This harms both the harmful people themselves and other creatures. Therefore, it is a good thing that an ordinary person does not have much power to implement into reality all that this person thinks and all that he or she would like to do.

“The confused thoughts and fuzzy images of almost all people allow only a little part of what such a person dreams of to occur in the material world. One thought builds up, and then a following thought can destroy it…

“With their thoughts and emotions, which are far from purity, people often violate the natural order of the flow of Light in their bodies. And it can lead to diseases.

“Also, many people create a space around themselves with so rude energies that hatred can be easily and shamelessly manifested, and humility and kindness are unnatural…

“The average person, who is usually far from the knowledge of his or her nature, oscillates, like a pendulum, between good and evil, joys and sorrows, confidence and doubts, kindness and cruelty…

“But everything is connected with everything. We are all connected to each other and to God — the Father and Mother of all the existing!

“And even just thoughts — good or evil — return, as an echo, to their sources, bringing the appropriate consequences in the fates of the people who created them.

“Only in the Oneness with the Heavenly Father, can the Power be found to influence various material objects or human bodies for healing them. And, in this way also, the understanding comes: when healing is for good, and when it is for evil.”

“How can there be the healing for evil?”

“It can happen… Healing the body without healing the soul can do harm. Such healings change the fates of the healed persons, and hence the sequences of various fateful events, associated with this person, also change.

“Here is a simple and obvious example. We heal a brave and strong warrior from a mortal wound, but he then continues, obeying orders, participating in wars of conquest, killing other people, ruining homes, and orphaning children…

“Here, the consequences for him and for other similar people are obvious.

“But in any case, when the soul does not learn the proper lessons for itself after the healing of the body and does not embark on the path of correction and transformation, then the healing is not for the good!

“God never sends diseases to people or punishes them! But one’s own wrong actions and thoughts attract to one’s own life such events, which are designed to teach the souls, helping them to purify and become better.

“Therefore, our help must be wise. And the power, which is given by God to us, will increase as we understand each situation and the fate of each person.”

* * *

We continued our journeys…

Jesus preached a lot now. And often, He was met by cheering crowds. It seemed to me that soon the whole world would know about the coming of the Messiah — and the “Golden Age” of the Divine Justice would reign! He was listened to by both rich and poor, and also by people of different nationalities and even different faiths.

… One day, we saw a Roman soldier talking rudely to an old man and his wife near their poor hut. The soldier took away their last food supplies, because he was collecting provisions for his military unit. He clearly was not pleased at having to do this assignment, but he expressed his discontent with what was happening by an even more stringent conversation with the elderly people.

He had already taken all the cakes and cheeses, and now demanded wine. But the old man in despair was saying that they do not grow grapes and do not make wine!

Jesus went up to the soldier and said:

“Do you think, Avitus, that you will avoid old age and death, deprivation and diseases? Do you believe that your health and strength will always be with you? Do you think that, if you die young in the battle for the power of Rome, you will be happy in your posthumous existence?”

“How do you know my name? What kind of weird questions are you asking? Are you another Jewish prophet, followed by idle onlookers? And do you want to teach me — a legionary of Rome?! Aren’t you afraid to give up your life right now?!”

… The warrior seized the hilt of the sword, thus emphasizing his threat.

“I’m not afraid of you, Avitus, because I know not only your name, but much of what you yourself do not know!

“It is not you who gave Me life, and you are not the one who can take it away! When the time comes, I will accept the death of My body by My own free will. And then you will recall Me and know Whom you have met and with Whom you have spoken.

“And yet — try to learn not only the power and ability to obey orders, but the ability to think. Your decision today will change your fate.”

… The soldier froze for a while. Before his inner eyes, scenes from his possible future floated — but… not of the heroic future that he had previously imagined for himself…

“Do you want to be a feeble old man with a miserable existence for many years?” — Jesus continued.

“What kind of curse did you place on me? Who would want to be in this horror?”

“I showed you your possible future. Understand that right now, by your hands taking food from the elderly, you are writing these final pages of your life…”

“Damn tribe! All of you are wizards with wild beliefs!” — Avitus shouted.

… Then the soldier threw the bag with provisions at the feet of the old man. He made a “protective” sign with his fingers, which was considered to protect against magic and the “evil eye”. Then he whipped his horse and raced away, raising clouds of dust…

* * *

As we moved on, reassuring the elders with the promise that this soldier would not return, Jesus calmly continued to speak:

“It does not always make sense to interfere with words and actions into the fate of people. But this man was already quite close to understanding the unrighteousness of his actions. And he is smart and strong enough to change his life for the better. I believe that he will make the right decisions on the day he realizes who I am and recalls this meeting… We gave him today a chance to be saved…

“A developed soul can control many processes and events in this world: both states within bodies, and events happening around. But people usually do not know this and, therefore, allow everything to happen as if by chance.

“But, if one understands that one’s advancement in the flow of life largely depends on oneself, and if this one will make efforts in the right direction, — then there will be less chaos in his or her life.”

… That meeting with the Roman soldier was the occasion for many of our conversations in our evenings around the campfire. But most of these conversations were reduced to a discussion of disasters carried out by the power of the Romans. Many disciples vented their emotions and expressed their opinions about the oppression of the people by the Romans. And also — words of indignation about the scribes and Pharisees poured out…

One time, Jesus came and sat down. He listened. His face was softly shining in the firelight. The silence of the night surrounded us on all sides… And only a group of people, hotly arguing about good and evil, broke this silence…

I looked at Jesus and almost didn’t even hear the words of the argument.

Then Jesus spoke, as if stopping the growing wave of accusations against the Romans for their many evils and troubles:

“You are right in many ways, my friends!

“And yet, condemnation is the wrong way! By accusing people of evil and vices, as well as by accusing people for being fanatical in their ignorance, you also run the risk of succumbing to the vice of anger!

“Evil can never defeat evil! Hate cannot conquer hate! I need to teach you to always win only by the power of love!

“It is very easy for an excited speaker to gather around himself a crowd of people who protest and who want to throw out the discontent and anger that has accumulated in them!

“But it is a lot harder to bring people together in the idea of creation, goodness, compassion, and the desire to cognize God.

“It does not require efforts to open souls up to the manifestations of discontent, irritation, and anger! Such a person as if reveals some kind of ‘plug’ that was blocking emotions — and out pours hatred!

“Sometimes it happens that the speaker specifically excites the listeners, pointing out those who should be condemned and hated… He tells people that ‘righteous anger’ is good…

Often it is because the rulers and priests control the crowd, which only needs to be told whom they should hate…

“It happened more than once that the words of Truth sounded on the Earth, but people did not hear them or did not understand… The prophets were driven off! And everything that leads to purity and kindness was rejected…

“Love and purity in themselves need to be nurtured! And this is difficult: it requires efforts!

“To see only evil in others and to blame them all — sometimes people think that it is right and fair…

“Moreover, even if the speeches of the preachers are correct, people do not always change themselves just from hearing the right words.

“But the ‘veil’ between the Creator’s world and His Creation is impenetrable for those who do not contain Love in themselves!

“Only the heart, loving meekly and sincerely, is able to overcome this ‘veil’ and cognize the One Who is Primordial, Holy, Omnipotent, and Who is the Father and Mother for everyone!

“Oh, how I wish I could teach each person to cognize the Heavenly Father with his or her open loving heart!

“Our help to people should be in awakening souls — those souls that are ready to awaken!

“Sometimes this is facilitated by miracles of healings…

“Unfortunately, perversions in the understanding of good and evil are inherent in human history…

“You’ve talked today a lot about the Romans… But… in a few more years, it will be among Romans that there will be many followers of the Teachings of the Heavenly Father that I give to you…

“Do not despise people for the youth of souls and for the wrong beliefs that have inspired them through the teachings of false teachers!

“It will be very sad if the Teachings of the Divine Love and the transformation of man-the-soul will begin to be carried out violently: through the help of bloody battles, through again sowing hatred and destructions — in order to prove, among people, their ‘superiority’ over others and the exceptional ‘holiness’ of their own rites and rituals…

“Therefore, we must now sow the seeds of true Knowledge about the Path to the Creator — through the love of the heart and purity of souls!”

* * *

A little more time passed by — and… something as if broke inside of me.

There was no apparent reason for that. But I… was tired of the tension of this unusual life for me: of a night’s sleep on the ground under the open sky, of walking every day between the villages, of staying many hours in the crowds listening to the speeches of Jesus… And these human crowds became more abundant…

I stopped feeling the Divine Presence as vividly as I had before.

I was so tired that I could not think of anything but… fatigue and becoming a burden to Jesus and His companions. This feeling of guilt was depressing me.

And the day came when Jesus very kindly told me that it was time for me to return home:

“Now it will be a very difficult time for all of us, and it will be better if you go back…”

… He knew already that His hour was near… And we… were still in the dark…

I began to cry with shame and sorrow, and asked Him to forgive me for not obeying and for permitting me to travel with Him… Jesus comforted me:

“Don’t worry! You’re tired! But at home, you’ll realize how much you’ve learned during these days on the road with us. And, if you try, you will know that I can be with you, near you, and in you — always!

“It will soon be very easy for you to live in God. In particular, you will learn to do anything important only after having received His direct Blessing!

“God is inevitably present always here: outside and inside the body of each of us! He is the Witness to everything that happens in our lives and in everything that we feel and think!

“It is only necessary to correlate this knowledge with your life, to accept it in your life, and to apply it in your life!

“Do you believe that little worries and fuss interfere with you at home? It’s not true! In the past, this life hurt you because you were living by the head and not by the heart!

“When God is in your heart, even among the work in the kitchen, you can be in the Silence and Bliss of His Presence!

“Don’t be sad: everything will be fine in your life! Nothing external can become a hindrance!

“And I will continue to help you to study how to gradually learn to appreciate what is significant and important, and to move away from your life what is insignificant.

“You can learn to see Me with the soul — even when My body is not next to you.

“Andrew will accompany you to your home and then catch up to us in Jerusalem.

“Do not object: it will be safe for you and good for everyone. I know it!” — Jesus said and smiled with such tenderness and affection that I almost burst into tears again.”

Then He added:

“Quite a bit of time will pass — and then we, all together, will get out of here. I will gradually take with Me you, Lazarus, and many others…

“In the meantime — gain the strength, master the life which is opened in front of you!

“I could give you My Power now, but you’re not ready to accept it yet… Power can destroy, not only create…

“Each of you will have to receive this Power — from the Heavenly Father!

“Prepare yourself for this!”