---

The Master/God is Pure! And what about me?

---

God is Pure! And what about me?

The Holy Spirits, Which in Their totality constitute the Creator, are called Holy because They have attained complete Purity: both in terms of the ultimate refinement of Self-Consciousnesses and in terms of ethical impeccability.

And we must always remember that we are all embodied by God in our present material bodies with the very aim of trying to become like Them.

No less important than to clean and tidy up our bodies is the need to cleanse souls. Or, more correctly, to purify ourselves (as souls) from ethically significant mistakes made in the past. Penitential work (a recapitulation, using the terms of Juan Matus) is what allows one to move further along the Path of spiritual perfecting. And if there are stops and delays, dead ends, and wrong turns, then this is a signal that one is not all right with ethics.

So, what is penitential work? And how to repent?

The experience of repentance in Orthodoxy only prevented me from learning this! There, after all, I (as a soul) seemed to be “cleansed”… magically, thanks to a spell performed by the priest. The confessor seemed to magically relieve me of responsibility for my sins, but this was not true. And even if my repentance and desire not to repeat my mistakes were often very sincere, why — for years! — could not the desired purity be achieved?

The following case weaned me from such “repentance”. During the confession, it turned out that I was dealing with a confessor, who was himself very vicious! Based on the questions that he asked me, it became clear that he was not interested in my conscience, but in something completely different. I went to him to discuss sexological topics but he was using the platform of confession to satisfy his unhealthy curiosity… And, instead of help and advice, he just yelled at me, being not at all embarrassed by his expressions, even in the presence of other people…

But it can happen that a person comes to confession, seeing this as the last hope of finding a way out of an unbearable, seemingly hopeless situation. And depending upon the words that he or she hears in response, they will either continue to live, or they will make the irreparable mistake that very day… Not everyone has the intelligence to understand immediately that, in this case, the solution should then be sought elsewhere and that other people should then be asked for advice!

And, even better, one could ask God! Who better than Him knows how to get out of a situation that He Himself has sent into one’s destiny for educational purposes? And, maybe the very reason that He did this was so that one could finally turn to Him…

Can one actually speak with God?… Yes, it is quite real! However, it is only possible when we are already sufficiently close to Him by the quality of ourselves as souls. In the meantime, we should read His words and advice in certain worthy books!

* * *

What, after all, should be repentance? And is anyone, besides oneself and God, needed for this?

I did not immediately manage to realize that the main goal of repentance is precisely to lose the very ability to sin!

And it’s not enough just to remember one’s mistakes and “ask for forgiveness” — at least mentally, if there is no other way — from those to whom one is guilty. And then, what is most important, is to never again repeat such mistakes!

One method that has helped me to learn this is to mentally “relive” each situation in which I behaved in an ethically incorrect manner. While doing this, I try to make the correct ethical decisions.

This allows me to get used to doing the ethically correct thing.

I confess that lying and not always being true to my word was a habit I had had since childhood. Nevertheless, I still somehow always managed to consider myself an honest person!

For a very long time, I did not have anyone who could have pointed out this blindness of mine!

It is good to have someone with whom to discuss particularly difficult scenarios in which one does not know how to act ethically! It is even better if such people are fellow travelers on the Path; after all, they may have had similar life experiences. A joint search for solutions can be useful to everyone, expanding their horizons.

It is also helpful to talk about such situations aloud to a friend or one’s friends. Sometimes this alone already helps one to deal with something that previously could not be understood.

It is probably only in such cases that another person is needed for recapitulation. For all other situations, this work should be independent, one on one with God.

When I can’t remember my mistakes myself, I turn to God for help — to one of the Divine Teachers — the Holy Spirits. At the appropriate time, They show me what I had done wrong and how to fix it.

Such answers from God come as if “by themselves” — when one has let the matter rest and is no longer preoccupied with determining the answer. After all, sometimes it takes time and soul-strength to cope with the knowledge obtained in this way.

Why does one need to do all this? Because God is pure, and it is right to meet with Him being pure too! Otherwise, He simply “will not open the door”!

* * *

Penitential work, as well as maintaining the energy purity of the body, continues throughout the Path. At each new stage, layer by layer, an ever deeper purification of the soul takes place.

The battle against my vices — their search and eradication — has been and continues to be one of most difficult tasks for me. After defeating some vices, others were immediately revealed to me, the existence of which I did not even suspect! Sometimes, it seems that they have no end! And sometimes this drove me into despair, causing me to ask myself, “Will I ever overcome all of them?!”.

I remember how incredibly difficult it was for me when I started to wean myself from my usual emotional and behavioral reactions to adverse situations. And there seemed to be more and more of such situations! This went on until I finally realized that they were tests from God that He was offering me to pass after every next developmental step that I had taken. After understanding this, I began to face them accordingly: preparing myself to “pass” each of these “exams”; otherwise, I would have to “retake” it if I didn’t manage “to pass it at once”. In my case, this happened very often!

No matter how well, it seemed, I had learned the theory, learning how to apply it in everyday life was never simple.

With the help of such tests, God checks how much one values such states and whether or not one has truly made them one’s own.

It is very easy to be peace and love, being among the peace and beauty of nature or in a circle of like-minded people. But it is quite another thing to remain so in the hustle and bustle of a very crowded city, in which one is often surrounded by aggressive people, difficult material conditions, and the necessity to communicate with colleagues and relatives who do not share one’s values.

I did not immediately manage to accustom myself to constant self-control and vigilance. And I did not immediately understand that the reason for the undesirable events was not due to the other people, or to the fact that they were “not what they should be” — but due, namely, to myself.

At present, I cannot say that I no longer make ethical mistakes. But at least now I notice them and immediately try to fix them.

* * *

It is good if there is time and an opportunity to “retake the failed exam from God”. But what if such an exam takes the form of, for example, a painful violent death at the hands of villains who “do not understand what they are doing”? Who guarantees that one won’t have to go through this?

And who, in this situation, can remain as love, accepting what is happening calmly and with humility — and forgive the offenders?

You can, my Master! You’ve done it so many times already…