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Contemporary knowledge about God, Evolution, and the meaning of human life.
Methodology of spiritual development.

 
Chapter Two: Clown Tom
 

Fakir/Chapter Two: Clown Tom


Chapter Two:
Clown Tom

One evening, after another such angry tirade of Franz to Katya with accusations of her being incompetent and lazy and threatening to turn her out into the street to starve, Katya burst into tears in her small room — from the sorrow of her unhappy fate. She sobbed, her face buried in a pillow, it seemed to her that all good had ended forever in her life, and she would never again have joy and hope!

Suddenly — in the doorway, the head of a clown appeared, whose name was Tom. He also began to whimper loudly, and then from the special tubes hidden under his amusing red wig, streams of water, which depicted the streams of tears, began to sprinkle. Katya already knew that for this he was pressing a rubber bulb hidden in his pocket. But, nevertheless, she smiled through the tears. Tom cried louder and louder, tears splashed in all directions!

“I’ve over-wept you! I’ve won!” — Tom said, walking into Katya’s room and sitting on a chair opposite Katya, who was crying on her bed. He added:

“Surrender!”

Katya completely stopped crying.

“What happened, Katya?” — Tom asked, and handed her a large checkered handkerchief.

Katya wiped her tears.

She told Tom about all her misfortunes.

Tom gave her ointment in a jar and said that it would help to lessen the muscle pain and treat the bruises. Then he sat down beside and asked:

“Do you want me to teach you not to be afraid and to do in your number things that are not yet working out?”

“I’ll never be able to, I’m afraid of this trapeze! I cannot do this and will never get success in it!” — said Katya sadly.

“Forget such words, Katya! In the circus — they do not exist!

“Man can learn almost everything! Human’s possibilities are huge!

“For example, you can manage this body by yourself — so that not you are controlled by the body! The body can whimper: ‘I do not want, I cannot, I’m tired!…’, but you give it a command — and it obeys!

“But only, this command should be very clear and assured!

“Have you seen how Madame Matilda teaches the dogs to jump through the hoop, stand on its hind legs? She gives them a clear command. So you must learn to give the body similar commands!

“So, gradually, you can perform a number of any complexity!

“Do you want me to help you? We will train early in the morning while all others are still asleep.

“Do you really want to be a real artist? Then — you must learn to never feel sorry for yourself, but do everything with joy! Only in this case, the public will be delighted to applaud you!

“But this is not the most important. Applause is only a recognition by others that you are performing well. But it happens that other people do not immediately notice what is important or beautiful. To prevent this from happening, you need to learn how to work so that you yourself can get joy from your performance!

“You see how all artists of the circus work! What the public consider to be magic and miracles, is achieved by their daily work on every element of the number.

“When a person works hard to achieve the result, then, what seemed impossible yesterday, becomes not only possible, but only a small step that allows you to rise higher, to move further!

“And most importantly is, if you conquer your fear of heights, pain and learn to do with joy what you must do, — then you can be happy!

“There is one small difficulty here: you cannot once and forever overcome fear…”

“And how then?”

“You can just learn to keep fear under your control. Do not allow fear to command!

“So — you can learn to overcome all those emotions that make you weak and unhappy, make you feel yourself a victim of some circumstances or other people.

“I’ve tested it in my life many times. If you give up before difficulties or indulge your weaknesses — then you never become better! And if you do not give up — you become better every day! Though slightly — but better!”

* * *

From that day, the friendship between the clown Tom and Katya had begun.

Tom’s shows were always so cheerful! All the audience roared with laughter and applauded enthusiastically!

And in usual life, Tom at any time was ready to give everyone a “hit the spot” of humor and jokes. He — as if always and everywhere participated in the performance, and he played in it the role of joker, entertaining all!

Many in the circus loved and respected him, many even were afraid of him: they were afraid to become subjects of his jokes. Even the director of the circus Mr. Lurie sometimes respected his opinion.

But with Katya — Tom was different: a real and kind friend, without sad irony over what is happening, without a lot of buffoon masks.

Katya herself was difficult the first time to wake up at dawn, and Tom woke her up himself.

“To get up early in the morning — it’s great! The day then becomes much longer — and you can do everything that you have planned,” — he said. — “But to be lazy and sleep for a long time means you have to hurry afterwards — to catch up to everything. And in the bustle and haste, we can forget how to notice the most important in life!”

… Tom every day began to teach Katya not to be afraid of heights and to perform complex movements on the trapeze, overcoming the trembling of body and soul.

… He once was himself a gymnast… It was a long time before a fall and injury, which was so serious that he had to become a clown.

He knew all the details of performing gymnastic and acrobatic movements — and began to help Katya to learn them while others were still asleep.

He lowered the trapeze to such a height that Katya was not scared. He insured her, helping to correctly do various coups.

Then Tom — gradually — increased the height. Then there was a trampoline-grid…

But, which was most important, Katya has learned to overcome her fear, has learned to achieve beauty and clarity in the execution of all movements! She was happy together with Tom — for every such little victory!

Tom invented some new elements into the numbers, which Katya then showed to Franz. And he, attributing to himself their discovery, included those movements in the newly-created numbers.

And the numbers really turned out to be bewitching with their beauty!

* * *

The first performance of the “soaring angel” caused a furor among the public. Katya was seen off with thunderous applause.

The little figure of a girl in a pink dress, embroidered with sparkles and with small elegantly made transparent wings on her back, shone in the beams of special searchlights. Katya did complicated coups under the very dome, and then as if was flying around the arena from trapeze to trapeze.

Mr. Lurie was incredibly pleased!

Tours began in many European countries. Performances, performances… And between them — endless trainings…

Katya got used to it.

But one day she complained to Tom:

“I do not see the life that is there, beyond the walls of the circus! I almost do not see even the cities we come to! They seem all the same, only people speak other languages\x{200b}\x{200b}…”

“You, Katya, see much more than most people living in these cities! And certainly — more than the children of some craftsmen or workers from the factory.

“But that rich, dressed up public who applauds us… I do not know if we should dream of such a life…

“Once I tried to live without a circus… I then earned a lot of money… I held on so for several years. But, nevertheless, I did not manage to live this way long — and I returned to the circus. In any case, here all — are honest!… But there… There all also play their roles, but very many deceive others and often deceive themselves…”

“So you have become a clown, who cheers people?”

“Yes, Katya. And people… They are everywhere the same, even though they speak different languages\x{200b}\x{200b}…”

… This conversation prompted Tom to begin to teach Katya everything that he knew himself and what he could teach.

At first, he simply read to her fairy tales with pictures, buying them in the bookstore — not new, but cheap. Then he taught Katya to read and count. He also told, as far as he knew himself, the history of the countries to which they came. And when such an opportunity was given, they together went for a walk around the city, in which Mr. Lurie’s circus was on tour at that time.

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